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29 February 2020
It doesn’t matter how many YouTube beauty videos you’ve watched or how many times you’ve asked the unsuspecting assistant at Sephora for makeup advice (despite the fact she looks like she’s probably about 54 and never heard of contouring in her life) – EVERYONE is definitely guilty of doing some of the below beauty blunders.
From getting pluck happy to sizzling your hair with a ghd, we take a look at the 13 beauty mistakes hiding in everyone’s dirty little past…
Gurl, we know you want to be tanned and beach babelicious, but if you’re not actually tanned and beach babelicious – then don’t go buying a foundation as if you were. We can see right through it. Well, actually not – as you have to slap on so much of the stuff to hide that pasty white skin of yours. And don’t even get me started on your blending efforts at the jawline… Bad. Just bad.
Napoleon Perdis would be so proud of me for saying his catchphrase – but the man does have a point. I’m very much guilty of previously being a perpetual perpetrator of this crime – but happy to say I’m now a converted primer user. And my skin is thanking me for it. *Glow*
Oh dear gawdddd am I mad at my previous self for my tweezer OTT ways. Whyyyyyyyyy did I feel the need to have pencil thin brows? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy…
We’ve all been there. Those vloggers make it look soooooo easy – but after paint by numbering your face and trying to blend those browns, creams, silvers, and whites into one another just like the YouTube beauty kweens, you instead walk away looking like some kinda circus crazee. It ain’t pretty.
Want to know a quick way to acne-town and dull skin? Not letting it breathe i.e. leaving the pancake on when you sleep and exercise. Bad habits, babe. And look, if it’s the first couple of dates and you feel like you just CAN’T go to bed without makeup on – I hope you at least make it look as natural as possible. “I just woke up like dis…” – if you know what I’m saying…
When dry shampoo first came out, I saw THAT many people just grab the can and start spraying it round like hairspray. Which just left a whole lot of people crazily trying to rub in the white powder before walking around with a slightly grey tinge to their ‘do. These days, the biggest dry shampoo faux pas seems to be blondes grabbing a can of the brunette dry shampoo. Now that don’t look too good either, zebra.
You know when you fuck up your cat eye and think you can smudge the eyeliner around a bit to give it that rock and roll slept-in edge? Well… It. Never. Ever. Works. You end up looking like a racoon – and not in a cute way.
Ooops, you’ve applied your mascara but forgot to curl the lashes first. May as well do them after. Right? Ummm, wrong. Curling lashes post mascara means the lashes stick to the curler (so never give a great “natural” curl) – plus you run the risk of pulling them out in the process… Ouch.
Ever seen the steam rising off your hair as you straighten it? The sizzle sound of the iron going to work on hair that’s not properly dry? Oh gurl, I think the sound gives it away that this one is a no-no. I mean – you are technically burning your hair. Go too far, and it might even snap off. Nasty.
Disco. Disco, Disco. Everyone likes a bit of glimmer and glitter – but you can 100 percent go too far with this. You don’t want to risk looking like the tin man… Just a dab and swipe here and there is all you need, babes.
Chipped nail polish sucks. Especially when you can’t find the hardcore nail remover. How many of us have just painted over the top with a fresh coat hoping no-one notices the slightly dodgy-looking manicure? Ummm, guilty…
You look like a fool. That is all.
Victoria’s Secret models can do it. Insta Kweens can do it. Editorials in magazines can do it. You, my friend, can’t. Walking down the street with your electric blue eyeshadow or your hot red eyeliner just doesn’t really work… unless it’s Halloween. But good on you for being adventurous – just maybe next time leave the makeup adventuring for when you’re home alone and it’s just you, your mirror and your Instagram selfies. You’re welcome.
25 March 2020
26 March 2020