30 April 2019
The irony in planning a wedding that’s supposed to celebrate love is that it often inspires a helluva lot of arguments. Whether it’s the fact you both have completely different ideas about your wedding budget or one of you is planning to invite every single person they’ve ever met whereas one wants to keep it low key, there are going to be some fights you’re inevitably going to encounter. So if you don’t want to end up divorced before you’ve even got started, here’s how to navigate them to ensure a smooth road to the big day.
Weddings are bloody expensive and not every couple is on the same wavelength about how many zeros should be spent on it. So, surprise, surprise at some point you will probably have the mother of all fights about it. Before you do any planning sit down and decide what kind of day you both want. This is the part where serious negotiation and compromise may be required, especially if you have visions of a no-expenses-spared soiree whilst your other half would be quite happy to host a low-key party in the backyard.
Once you’ve decided on what you want out of the day you can then start to realistically see how much money is required to pull it off, and if you’ve got the funds to do it. This is by far the most tedious part of the entire planning process as it involves an inordinate amount of going back and forth, deciding what’s a must and what’s a nice to have. On the upside though, after you’ve locked it in you get to start on the fun part of planning.
It’s a truth universally acknowledged that with planning a wedding comes random relatives that all of a sudden emerge from the woodwork and need to be invited. You will both inevitably get really protective, at times defensive of why [insert person here] has to be invited but this is the part where you have to work together as a team to get your list down to a manageable size. Give yourself some parameters such as you both get the power of veto over a certain number of guests or you’re both allowed a no questions asked guest. You’ll hate the fact the aunty you’ve never met has to come, they’ll hate the fact that your annoying cousin has to attend, but eventually, you will end up with a list that works. That is until both your mothers get involved, in which case, godspeed.
There comes a point in the planning process in which you will be so sucked into the wedding vortex so hard that it will render you unable to see reason. Whether it’s losing your sh*t over the fact your other half doesn’t appreciate why not having rose gold flatware is an absolute disaster, to you not being down with the song selection for your first dance, all of a sudden these tiny, insignificant things will be a BIG F’ING DEAL. The best thing you can do is step away from the process and do something non-wedding related to help give you some perspective then come back again and have it out. More often than not, the thing you’re fighting about will now just seem downright ridiculous.
Consider this budget fight v 2.0. Because once you’ve actually decided how much money you’re going to spend, then you’ll have a fight about where it’s actually going. You may think having invites on ecru cotton paper stock with a letterpress finish is the be all and end all of the entire event whilst they’d be quite happy to pop everything on a Facebook invite and be done with it. So once again, make friends with compromise and agree on three things that you’d both really like to invest in. Everything else outside of this is fair game.
There will always be one of you who will feel like they’re knee deep in planning and forever drowning in the minutiae of The Wedding. And that’s because generally there is usually one person who is knee deep in planning and forever drowning in the minutiae of The Wedding. This person, whether it’s you or your fiancée will inevitably snap and accuse the other person of being lazy and doing absolutely nothing and not appreciating the stress they’re under. The only right thing to do here is to ask what needs to be done and how you/they can help. It’s all worth it, we promise.
READ: 8 Wedding Chores You Can Do On Your Lunch Break
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