Bridal
16 May 2019
I was once in wedding where the bride not only made us wear all the same strappy shoes (she bought them for us on clearance and the pair I was given were far too small to the point my little toes stuck out the sides), she had us all wear fake press on nails so our hands matched (they started popping off during the ceremony). She also wanted us to use the same makeup. I don’t mean the same shades or something semi-reasonable like that, no we were to all use the same bottle of foundation, eye shadow palette, blush, eyeliner, and mascara no matter our skin tone or the fact sharing some of that stuff is f*cking unsanitary. – mystic_burrito
I was once in wedding where the bride not only made us wear all the same strappy shoes (she bought them for us on clearance and the pair I was given were far too small to the point my little toes stuck out the sides), she had us all wear fake press on nails so our hands matched (they started popping off during the ceremony).
She also wanted us to use the same makeup. I don’t mean the same shades or something semi-reasonable like that, no we were to all use the same bottle of foundation, eye shadow palette, blush, eyeliner, and mascara no matter our skin tone or the fact sharing some of that stuff is f*cking unsanitary. – mystic_burrito
I was once kicked out of my ‘friend’s’ bridal party because she decided I was too fat, and looked horrible in my dress. Note: This was after I threw her a bachelorette party, and she had previously told me how good I looked in the dress. She had the audacity to beg me to come to her wedding so she didn’t ‘feel bad’ I pretty much told her to go to hell, and ended the friendship. – JediKnight1
– No one was allowed to wear heels because she didn’t want anyone to be taller than her. She was already at least 3 inches taller than any girl at her wedding (there were 6 bridesmaids including me) – no one was allowed to wear false eyelashes except for her…cuz you know, the big puffy white dress doesn’t make you stand out enough – we had meetings twice a week for at least three hours each. (these started six months prior to her wedding.) – everyone in the bridal party had to recite the rundown schedule to prove we got our shit together – screamed at all the bridesmaids all day long behind the scenes on the wedding day while she pretended to be the best wife/bride ever in front of guests – wouldn’t let us bridesmaids in short dresses (knee high, no sleeves, minimal coverage) wear any outerwear while we were taking pictures outdoors. IT WAS F*CKING SNOWING AND ZERO F*CKING DEGREES OUTSIDE Oh, it doesn’t end here. 1 YEAR LATER… – she hosted a party for her 1 year anniversary and I cooked/cleaned for her all day long while she took the credit for everything. SHE TOLD ME THE PARTY STARTED AT NOON. BUT IT REALLY STARTED AT 6. SHE LIED SO I WOULD ARRIVE EARLY TO SLAVE FOR HER – one of her friends said I looked familiar (remembered me from her wedding) then she introduced me as her MOH. Her friend commented on how nice I was to help out with the party. AND I KID YOU NOT SHE SAID “oh, that’s what the ‘maid’ in ‘maid of honour’ is for. I am done with her. – ILIKETODRINKBBT
– No one was allowed to wear heels because she didn’t want anyone to be taller than her. She was already at least 3 inches taller than any girl at her wedding (there were 6 bridesmaids including me) – no one was allowed to wear false eyelashes except for her…cuz you know, the big puffy white dress doesn’t make you stand out enough – we had meetings twice a week for at least three hours each. (these started six months prior to her wedding.)
– everyone in the bridal party had to recite the rundown schedule to prove we got our shit together – screamed at all the bridesmaids all day long behind the scenes on the wedding day while she pretended to be the best wife/bride ever in front of guests – wouldn’t let us bridesmaids in short dresses (knee high, no sleeves, minimal coverage) wear any outerwear while we were taking pictures outdoors. IT WAS F*CKING SNOWING AND ZERO F*CKING DEGREES OUTSIDE
Oh, it doesn’t end here. 1 YEAR LATER…
– she hosted a party for her 1 year anniversary and I cooked/cleaned for her all day long while she took the credit for everything. SHE TOLD ME THE PARTY STARTED AT NOON. BUT IT REALLY STARTED AT 6. SHE LIED SO I WOULD ARRIVE EARLY TO SLAVE FOR HER – one of her friends said I looked familiar (remembered me from her wedding) then she introduced me as her MOH. Her friend commented on how nice I was to help out with the party. AND I KID YOU NOT SHE SAID “oh, that’s what the ‘maid’ in ‘maid of honour’ is for.
I am done with her. – ILIKETODRINKBBT
Anyway, my best friend’s sister is getting married and of coutse my friend is going to be a bridesmaid BUT her sister told her that if she isn’t down to “at least” a size 10 by the wedding she can’t be in the bridal party. – Anonymous
I had a friend that threw a temper tantrum, complete with screaming and foot stomping because her grandmother had the audacity to die a few hours before her wedding. She said it would throw off the seating arrangements because now there would be a big empty space. – kidtendomom
She slapped me in the mouth, in the restroom during the reception. She had this massive, billowing explosion of organza as a skirt. It was beautiful, but utterly impractically designed: it took at least three of us to hold up her skirt so she could pee. She had been drinking on an empty stomach, and on the second trip to the restroom with all of us holding this dress up while she hovered drunkenly over a toilet she couldn’t see, she ordered me to wipe her. Ordered. Me. To clean her of urine. I declined. She slapped me.The skirt was dropped by all parties while I shouted obscenities at her. She screamed that if I didn’t do this for her, this friendship was over! Over! She tried to apologize years later but seemed surprised when I was not interested in rekindling our friendship. – isstronglikebull
She slapped me in the mouth, in the restroom during the reception. She had this massive, billowing explosion of organza as a skirt. It was beautiful, but utterly impractically designed: it took at least three of us to hold up her skirt so she could pee. She had been drinking on an empty stomach, and on the second trip to the restroom with all of us holding this dress up while she hovered drunkenly over a toilet she couldn’t see, she ordered me to wipe her. Ordered. Me. To clean her of urine. I declined. She slapped me.The skirt was dropped by all parties while I shouted obscenities at her. She screamed that if I didn’t do this for her, this friendship was over! Over!
She tried to apologize years later but seemed surprised when I was not interested in rekindling our friendship. – isstronglikebull
My bridezilla friend told me I wasn’t allowed to take pain medication (for my lupus) at her wedding. She was afraid I’d be “too out of it” to perform my MOH duties. 9am to 7pm is a long time to be on your feet without a break and without pain meds. I sent them off to their honeymoon and drove the eight hours home in misery. – Manateecups
My college roommate asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I agreed. Then the bridesmaid dress she picked out for me was $2400. I couldn’t afford it and gently told her so. I found a pattern for a similar dress and fabric that was the same colour and type, so I asked her if it was okay if I made the similar dress, or perhaps we could go dress shopping together to find something in my budget? All of the bridesmaids were going to be wearing the same colour, but she’d picked out different styles of dresses for each of us, so it wasn’t as if I would stick out like a sore thumb. She cussed me out, told me I was ruining her wedding, that her ‘vision’ required me to wear THAT dress, and can’t I just get a credit card to charge the dress on? When I told her no, she cut all contact with me, claiming that if I was a true friend I would make the finances work. She’s never spoken to me again. She’d been like a sister to me up until that point. One of the dresses she’d picked out for another bridesmaid was $300, by the way. I was pissed when I found that out. – Anonymous
My college roommate asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I agreed. Then the bridesmaid dress she picked out for me was $2400. I couldn’t afford it and gently told her so. I found a pattern for a similar dress and fabric that was the same colour and type, so I asked her if it was okay if I made the similar dress, or perhaps we could go dress shopping together to find something in my budget?
All of the bridesmaids were going to be wearing the same colour, but she’d picked out different styles of dresses for each of us, so it wasn’t as if I would stick out like a sore thumb.
She cussed me out, told me I was ruining her wedding, that her ‘vision’ required me to wear THAT dress, and can’t I just get a credit card to charge the dress on? When I told her no, she cut all contact with me, claiming that if I was a true friend I would make the finances work. She’s never spoken to me again. She’d been like a sister to me up until that point.
One of the dresses she’d picked out for another bridesmaid was $300, by the way. I was pissed when I found that out. – Anonymous
My best friend’s coworker is getting married later this year, and oh, man, this girl’s got some problems. She’s very religious and “pure,” which, if that’s your thing, is fine. Whatever. However, she told my friend last week that she doesn’t want anyone at her wedding who was born out of wedlock. Which includes my friend, who is the daughter of a teen mom. – soundlife
My sister lives in Chicago, but 13 of us traveled to New York for hers. Both my sisters know how poor I am; they and all of their friends are not, like double/triple my salary not. Well, turns out the Bride doesn’t have to pay for ANYTHING! I planned my budget based around only going out for 2 nice meals and buying everything else at a grocery store. I skipped the really fancy brunch because it was just so ridiculously expensive, I was hoping that by skipping the brunch I’d be able to actually buy lunch the next day before I got on the plane. We went out to a bar for dinner so we just did shared plates for dinner, but I didn’t eat anything and only had a glass of orange juice. (I was sick on top of it all.) My “share” came out to $90. The reasoning was because I skipped brunch everyone else had to pay more, so now I have to pay double what everyone else did when I got to participate in exactly ZERO of it. I know it was “fair” and all, but I was really disappointed that no one cared I wasn’t going to be able to eat the next day. Both my sisters blamed me for not being more fun, and I’m like I HAVE NO MONEY AND YOU ARE MAKING ME PAY FOR SOMEONE WHO LITERALLY MAKES $50,000 MORE THAN ME A YEAR! It was one of the worst weekends of my life until the actual wedding when my sister decided to attack all of my life choices and call me names the night before she got married. Good times. Fuck Bridezillas and their minions. – Anonymous
My sister lives in Chicago, but 13 of us traveled to New York for hers. Both my sisters know how poor I am; they and all of their friends are not, like double/triple my salary not. Well, turns out the Bride doesn’t have to pay for ANYTHING! I planned my budget based around only going out for 2 nice meals and buying everything else at a grocery store. I skipped the really fancy brunch because it was just so ridiculously expensive, I was hoping that by skipping the brunch I’d be able to actually buy lunch the next day before I got on the plane.
We went out to a bar for dinner so we just did shared plates for dinner, but I didn’t eat anything and only had a glass of orange juice. (I was sick on top of it all.) My “share” came out to $90. The reasoning was because I skipped brunch everyone else had to pay more, so now I have to pay double what everyone else did when I got to participate in exactly ZERO of it. I know it was “fair” and all, but I was really disappointed that no one cared I wasn’t going to be able to eat the next day. Both my sisters blamed me for not being more fun, and I’m like I HAVE NO MONEY AND YOU ARE MAKING ME PAY FOR SOMEONE WHO LITERALLY MAKES $50,000 MORE THAN ME A YEAR! It was one of the worst weekends of my life until the actual wedding when my sister decided to attack all of my life choices and call me names the night before she got married. Good times. Fuck Bridezillas and their minions. – Anonymous
I was supposed to be a bridesmaid in my (ex)friends wedding. We weren’t as close as we were when we were kids, but she didn’t really have many other friends so I was nice enough to say yes. I helped her pick flowers, we had already chosen her dress and the bridesmaids dresses. Her wedding was in October. In May, I decided to move across the country due to issues I was having in the current place I was living. I told her I would fly back for the parties in July, that I would get the bridesmaid dress altered by myself, and fly back again for the wedding in October. She responded to that by sending horribly mean text messages, saying if I couldn’t be there for the dress fitting, she’d “find someone else to fit the dress”, and saying it was incredibly selfish of me to move while she was planning her wedding. That’s the last time I’ve talked to her since. With the issues I was having at home, one involved a car accident. My mom told her about it, and her first response was, “well, is she going to ruin my wedding?” not ever asking once how I was. – supersmashhoe
I was supposed to be a bridesmaid in my (ex)friends wedding. We weren’t as close as we were when we were kids, but she didn’t really have many other friends so I was nice enough to say yes. I helped her pick flowers, we had already chosen her dress and the bridesmaids dresses. Her wedding was in October. In May, I decided to move across the country due to issues I was having in the current place I was living. I told her I would fly back for the parties in July, that I would get the bridesmaid dress altered by myself, and fly back again for the wedding in October. She responded to that by sending horribly mean text messages, saying if I couldn’t be there for the dress fitting, she’d “find someone else to fit the dress”, and saying it was incredibly selfish of me to move while she was planning her wedding. That’s the last time I’ve talked to her since.
With the issues I was having at home, one involved a car accident. My mom told her about it, and her first response was, “well, is she going to ruin my wedding?” not ever asking once how I was. – supersmashhoe
#12
I was MOH for a bridezilla. She was a pretty shitty person before the wedding, so there’s no surprise she turned out to be horrible while planning it. She was an abusive asshole the entire process of planning her wedding. She frequently would scream at me about not caring enough about the wedding, but would then paradoxically not inform me of any of the decisions. We fought every day for hours for nearly a year about her wedding. I talked to the other bridesmaids and discovered she was doing the same thing to them. When the time came to plan her bachelorette party everything came to a head. Initially, she wanted to go to Vegas- which almost none of us could afford. After that was nixed, we were having trouble setting a date, and she was being difficult, as usual. She didn’t like any of the plans I made for her and wanted some bullshit that was really impractical and not very fun. Then, I discovered she was lying to all of us about different bachelorette-party related things to get us to agree to take an expensive trip to another city. I was furious and stopped talking to her for a month. On the day of the bachelorette party she was three hours late to my house to leave because she went shopping. She ruined our plans, and we ended up missing our dinner reservations. She proceeded to get blacked out really early in the night, and we had to take her home and put her to bed. I haven’t talked to her since shortly after her wedding. She broke me. – Anonymous
I was MOH for a bridezilla. She was a pretty shitty person before the wedding, so there’s no surprise she turned out to be horrible while planning it.
She was an abusive asshole the entire process of planning her wedding. She frequently would scream at me about not caring enough about the wedding, but would then paradoxically not inform me of any of the decisions. We fought every day for hours for nearly a year about her wedding. I talked to the other bridesmaids and discovered she was doing the same thing to them. When the time came to plan her bachelorette party everything came to a head. Initially, she wanted to go to Vegas- which almost none of us could afford. After that was nixed, we were having trouble setting a date, and she was being difficult, as usual. She didn’t like any of the plans I made for her and wanted some bullshit that was really impractical and not very fun. Then, I discovered she was lying to all of us about different bachelorette-party related things to get us to agree to take an expensive trip to another city. I was furious and stopped talking to her for a month.
On the day of the bachelorette party she was three hours late to my house to leave because she went shopping. She ruined our plans, and we ended up missing our dinner reservations. She proceeded to get blacked out really early in the night, and we had to take her home and put her to bed. I haven’t talked to her since shortly after her wedding. She broke me. – Anonymous
A friend was mad because a few days before her wedding there was a terrible flood in a South American country which somehow ruined her chances of being able to get just the right colour flower for the centre pieces. Nutbag. – bynl
After my friend got engaged, she invited me out to coffee to let me know that she wouldn’t be asking me to be a Bridesmaid – she didn’t have enough room in the party. I was surprised – we were pretty close – but not upset. Next week, she invites me to coffee again, looking for a shoulder to cry on. Her sister, who she had named Maid of Honor, wasn’t performing her duties. Now, there was magically room for me in the bridal party, and she asked me to fulfill the role while not having the title. I felt for her, so I agreed. I did everything for that girl. I planned with her, I was a shoulder to cry on, I showed up for everything when every other bridesmaid and family member repeatedly bailed. One weekend, her sister felt inspired to throw a last minute bridal shower (she contacted me two days before). My boyfriend was coming home from his one year deployment that same weekend – I declined to go, thinking the Bride would understand – I had attended everything else, and I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in a year. Wrong. That whole night, she and her fiance blew up my phone with aggressive texts, cursing me out for not coming, telling me I shouldn’t even come to the wedding. I agreed. Haven’t talked to her since. – offprint
After my friend got engaged, she invited me out to coffee to let me know that she wouldn’t be asking me to be a Bridesmaid – she didn’t have enough room in the party. I was surprised – we were pretty close – but not upset.
Next week, she invites me to coffee again, looking for a shoulder to cry on. Her sister, who she had named Maid of Honor, wasn’t performing her duties. Now, there was magically room for me in the bridal party, and she asked me to fulfill the role while not having the title. I felt for her, so I agreed.
I did everything for that girl. I planned with her, I was a shoulder to cry on, I showed up for everything when every other bridesmaid and family member repeatedly bailed. One weekend, her sister felt inspired to throw a last minute bridal shower (she contacted me two days before). My boyfriend was coming home from his one year deployment that same weekend – I declined to go, thinking the Bride would understand – I had attended everything else, and I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in a year.
Wrong. That whole night, she and her fiance blew up my phone with aggressive texts, cursing me out for not coming, telling me I shouldn’t even come to the wedding. I agreed. Haven’t talked to her since. – offprint
A good friend of mine was a bridesmaid for a girl who had lost her mind over the course of her planning in her pursuit of ceremonial perfection. Her escalating decrees included: No bridesmaid was allowed to wear pink makeup, because the bride didn’t like it. (My friend has dark brown skin and pinks were pretty much the only colors that would work for her) The bridesmaids had to coordinate their heel heights so they would all appear to be the same height- my friend was 5’2″, the tallest bridesmaid 5’9″. She wanted my friend to wear 7-inch stilettos- for an outdoor wedding, no less. The bride expected all her bridesmaids to abstain from eating, night-before-surgery-style, until after the wedding was over so there were no unsavory stomach bulges. (My personal favorite) The bride wanted all the bridesmaids to stay in a tent in her backyard for the night following the wedding, so they would be early to set up for the present-opening. I had to talk my friend off the ledge for a couple of those. She abstained from #1, 3 and 4, and I don’t think she was able to find suitable shoes to comply with #2. Apparently the bride received swift karmic justice anyway; she went with #3 for herself but opted to “calm her nerves” by front-loading before the ceremony. She was drunk for her vows, shitfaced at the reception, and ultimately puked down the front of her dress. So much for perfect. (And no one stayed in tents.) – idiosyncrassy
A good friend of mine was a bridesmaid for a girl who had lost her mind over the course of her planning in her pursuit of ceremonial perfection. Her escalating decrees included:
No bridesmaid was allowed to wear pink makeup, because the bride didn’t like it. (My friend has dark brown skin and pinks were pretty much the only colors that would work for her)
The bridesmaids had to coordinate their heel heights so they would all appear to be the same height- my friend was 5’2″, the tallest bridesmaid 5’9″. She wanted my friend to wear 7-inch stilettos- for an outdoor wedding, no less.
The bride expected all her bridesmaids to abstain from eating, night-before-surgery-style, until after the wedding was over so there were no unsavory stomach bulges.
(My personal favorite) The bride wanted all the bridesmaids to stay in a tent in her backyard for the night following the wedding, so they would be early to set up for the present-opening.
I had to talk my friend off the ledge for a couple of those. She abstained from #1, 3 and 4, and I don’t think she was able to find suitable shoes to comply with #2.
Apparently the bride received swift karmic justice anyway; she went with #3 for herself but opted to “calm her nerves” by front-loading before the ceremony. She was drunk for her vows, shitfaced at the reception, and ultimately puked down the front of her dress. So much for perfect. (And no one stayed in tents.) – idiosyncrassy
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