TV & Film

We Need To Talk About American Alex

02 May 2019

Last year I attempted to watch BIP but was then OS and my VPN wasn’t working and I was literally writing the recaps from Twitter alone. I’ve learned that you don’t actually HAVE to watch reality TV, simply follow whatever the hashtag thread is on Twitter and you’ll honestly have all the info you never needed in the first place you need.

So I didn’t watch any of this season of Bachelor In Paradise, but by golly did I hear/read tweets/see images about American Alex. Alex was by all accounts, a lovely chap who hailed from America and was called Alex (who knew). He was kind and treated women nicely and had the most spectacular set of abs on a human I’ve seen since the last time I re-watched Magic Mike.

AMERICAN ALEX
…oh my

But Australian women are idiots. And Australian women who opt to go on dreadful reality TV, seeking insta followers love are even bigger idiots.

So rather than go for the lovely fellow with a lovely stomach, named American Alex; they instead chased, bickered and bitched about a bunch of absolute garbage humans called Bill (teeth), Ivan (rapey dancer), Nathan (this year’s Jarrod #plswearsunscreen), ‘Paddy’ (that is a market, not a name), Davey (mister choad fingers), and Richie (poo bath man). Ok, I’m sure not all of them are rubbish but none of them are American Alex and WHY THE EFF WAS HE NOT THE MOST SOUGHT AFTER BACHELOR?!

bachelor in paradise

Anyway, these are the best tweets I found regarding this travesty…

BACHELOR IN PARADISE 2019 | ‘POOR AMERICAN ALEX’

If you would like to look at American Alex’s face on a regular basis, follow him on insta here.