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Lifestyle Wanderlust
12 October 2018
Tomorrow, I am turning 30.
THIRTY
Like, no longer in my 20s type of 30. The proper ‘adult’ stage of life.
For yonks, I’ve seen a bunch of articles floating about the internet about ‘things you should do before you’re 30’ or ‘bucket list ticks to do before 30’ etc
Basically just a bunch of lists designed to make the average personΒ feel like shit about themselves because they haven’t ‘ticked every box’ orΒ whatever, never mind that most people approach 30 already anxious that they haven’t done enough with their lives.
So in honour of this momentous occasion, I thought I’d go through these silly lists and make everyone else feel better see what I can cross off…
Do you know what? I don’t WANT to travel by myself. That sounds dreadful. I stayed in a hostel for one night by myself at the beginning of the year (unfortunatelyΒ this did not occur a long time ago) and when I woke up in the middle of the night to wee, I went in the sink as I didn’t want to run into a drunk backpacker in the hostel halls. I PEED IN THE SINK FOR CHRIST’S SAKE.
So no, I do not fancy travelling by myself and all those wankers who go on about it being ‘good for the soul’ or something equally wankerish can suck my dick.
Besides, travelling with other humans is way more fun.
View this post on Instagram One of us is a dancer. The other is not. Farewelling Amsterdam and getting ready for an Irish adventure! ππ»@camilla.dasilva.zj A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Jul 31, 2018 at 3:23am PDT
One of us is a dancer. The other is not. Farewelling Amsterdam and getting ready for an Irish adventure! ππ»@camilla.dasilva.zj
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Jul 31, 2018 at 3:23am PDT
I would knock myself out with a lone tit slapping me in the face. I would also die from extreme lack of ability in the running department.
I do this all the time because it feels free and fun and I like the feeling of salt water in my lady parts. I once skinny dipped at one of the poshest beaches in one of the poshest areas in America, West Palm Beach. It was excellent. I really hope I gave some boujee snobs the shock of their lives.
One time I tried pole dancing and it felt like myΒ implants were being ripped from my chest. Suffice to say, I did not go back.
Ok, this I have done WAY before turning 30, but only because food is life and cooking is how I conned 3 boys into staying with me past the stage where they realised I was batshit.
View this post on Instagram Guys, if thereβs one gal that knows what Valentineβs Day is really like, take it from the one who once received a verbal card. Expectations VS. Reality now live on FB + YT! β€οΈ A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Feb 11, 2018 at 10:45pm PST
Guys, if thereβs one gal that knows what Valentineβs Day is really like, take it from the one who once received a verbal card. Expectations VS. Reality now live on FB + YT! β€οΈ
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Feb 11, 2018 at 10:45pm PST
Do you think 8th-grade French counts? I may only remember approximately 3 phrases but I do remember clear as day my teacher calling out ‘Mike Hunt’ (say it a few times and you’ll get the joke) over and over again, and the time I threw a chair at my best friend because I was an #angstyteen.
This would be a complete waste of time given I never even look at the bloody menu. ‘House red pls sir’ is the extent of my knowledge and requirements.
View this post on Instagram I love London! Despite my face π A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Aug 3, 2018 at 2:37pm PDT
I love London! Despite my face π
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Aug 3, 2018 at 2:37pm PDT
Y tho? Isn’t it kinda unnecessaryΒ in Australia given we get free healthcare? The ‘loading fee’ that everyone bangs on about is still way less that paying for health insurance which means more $$ for those house wines.Β π
I’m at least 80% sure I don’t have random amounts of super floating about in other accounts. Who knows for sure with the number of random jobs I had at uni. Never forget the 2-month summer holiday stint at Hogsbreath Cafe; Forster’s version of fine dining.
LEL I have done this MANY times and plan on continuing the tradition well into my 30’s, thank you very much.
TICK! And it felt bloody amazing to buy my Gucci bag last year with my very own money.
View this post on Instagram Celebrating the new @lumacosmetics launch with the gorgeous @jesshart ππ₯ What an evening! I successfully drank 7 cocktails in an hour without taking my clothes off and enjoying a skinny dip. As much as Sydneyβs celebs would have enjoyed it. #greatsuccess A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Dec 6, 2017 at 1:32am PST
Celebrating the new @lumacosmetics launch with the gorgeous @jesshart ππ₯ What an evening! I successfully drank 7 cocktails in an hour without taking my clothes off and enjoying a skinny dip. As much as Sydneyβs celebs would have enjoyed it. #greatsuccess
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Dec 6, 2017 at 1:32am PST
By ‘grown-up’ do you mean playing ‘fuck the bus’ and ‘beer pong’ until someone passes out? If so, many, MANY times.
View this post on Instagram The three amigos β¨π A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Apr 2, 2017 at 2:25am PDT
The three amigos β¨π
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Apr 2, 2017 at 2:25am PDT
Ticked this one off this year when I headed to Coachella for work.
View this post on Instagram The wind was really messing with my vibes today π#Coachella #coachella2018 A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Apr 14, 2018 at 2:56am PDT
The wind was really messing with my vibes today π#Coachella #coachella2018
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Apr 14, 2018 at 2:56am PDT
I’ve sure as hell tried but alas, my mind is like an overactive 3yo after too much sugar. IT WON’T BE QUIET.
I know enough.Β America is run by a very orange man, England is run by an old cranky lady, and Australia is run by a bunch of school kids who squabble over whose turn it is.
I have absolutely no issue at all dining solo, in fact, I bloody love it. But dining or drinking solo sans at least a book seems… well, super boring.
View this post on Instagram My current body weight is at least 70% alcohol π»π€·ββοΈ A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Aug 4, 2018 at 1:56pm PDT
My current body weight is at least 70% alcohol π»π€·ββοΈ
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Aug 4, 2018 at 1:56pm PDT
Pls. Whoever the eff decided this should be on the list of things to do before turning 30 should have a look at the average salary for the first few years out of uni. Numbskull.
Nope. Sure I like going nice places, but I honestly don’t appreciate fancy food enough to make it worthwhile going to one of those places that charge $400 for a bowl of kale that’s been grown in remote parts of Iceland and brewed in water sourced from caves only accessible for 1 day every year. Feel me? Happy with a big burger bitch.
View this post on Instagram Giant Big Mac burgers for @thelazyceo – complete with homemade special sauce ππ A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Jun 19, 2018 at 3:08am PDT
Giant Big Mac burgers for @thelazyceo – complete with homemade special sauce ππ
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Jun 19, 2018 at 3:08am PDT
America. With an aforementioned BF before he realised I was cray cray. We didn’t last long and I didn’t last long OS after.
This didn’t exactly scare me, but swimming with sharks should get me a tick regardless.
View this post on Instagram Sooo this happened today and it was the most surreal and amazing experience! Swimming with these majestic creatures so closely (they literally come within 15cm of your face) was something I've always wanted to do. Highly recommend, can't wipe the smile off my face! π¦π€π #sharkdiving A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Sep 19, 2018 at 3:28am PDT
Sooo this happened today and it was the most surreal and amazing experience! Swimming with these majestic creatures so closely (they literally come within 15cm of your face) was something I've always wanted to do. Highly recommend, can't wipe the smile off my face! π¦π€π #sharkdiving
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Sep 19, 2018 at 3:28am PDT
Anyone who has recently been to either Iceland or Switzerland will no longer have savings. I’ve recently visited both.Β The savings took one hell of a beating, but #mems.
View this post on Instagram The Blue Lagoon – Basically a giant man-made bath you share with a bunch of hairy old men, soaking in each other's filth… But it's real pretty AND has a swim-up bar βοΈπ€·ββοΈ #bluelagoon #discovericeland #expensivebath A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Jul 25, 2018 at 3:27pm PDT
The Blue Lagoon – Basically a giant man-made bath you share with a bunch of hairy old men, soaking in each other's filth… But it's real pretty AND has a swim-up bar βοΈπ€·ββοΈ #bluelagoon #discovericeland #expensivebath
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Jul 25, 2018 at 3:27pm PDT
View this post on Instagram I wish I could describe how beautiful the #swissalps are, as even this pic doesn't do them justice. So I'll just describe them as fookin INSANE π #switzerland A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Aug 7, 2018 at 2:08pm PDT
I wish I could describe how beautiful the #swissalps are, as even this pic doesn't do them justice. So I'll just describe them as fookin INSANE π #switzerland
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Aug 7, 2018 at 2:08pm PDT
Having a mentor is one of those wanky things super successful people talk about having… actually that’s probably why they’re so successful…Β π€
My nanny gives me a lot of unsolicited life advice? Does she count?
View this post on Instagram Took Nanny on an outing to @thegrounds – she liked the pig but wasn't a fan of the coffee. Wasn't a sachet you see. πβοΈ A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Aug 14, 2017 at 1:31am PDT
Took Nanny on an outing to @thegrounds – she liked the pig but wasn't a fan of the coffee. Wasn't a sachet you see. πβοΈ
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Aug 14, 2017 at 1:31am PDT
Portrait or photo? Cos’ I ain’t camera shy.Β π
View this post on Instagram Excuse me sir, might what would you be looking at? Do I have something on my face? A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Jun 8, 2018 at 4:11am PDT
Excuse me sir, might what would you be looking at? Do I have something on my face?
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Jun 8, 2018 at 4:11am PDT
Sure have and you know what? Sometimes the sex is better with the chaps you would generally walk right on pastΒ ππ
Listen, I tried, I TRIED to break the world record in tolerating the swill that is Guniess, but I failed massively.
View this post on Instagram Clearly, I was a big fan of Guinness π€’ A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Aug 3, 2018 at 4:05am PDT
Clearly, I was a big fan of Guinness π€’
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Aug 3, 2018 at 4:05am PDT
I had a blog once upon a time. That count? If everyone is supposed to start a side hustle before turning 30, there must be an awful lot of failed attempts out there.
In Sydney? Sure, that’s always been possible.Β ππ
I mean, I can play the Titanic theme song and FΓΌr Elise on the piano?
Alright so I’ve popped a few videos below to show off my #skillz – Dancing is something I’ve never quite, well um, nailed in any form TBH so with 1 sleep to go, I can’t see it developing before turning 30. However, drinking makes me THINK I can HA.Β
View this post on Instagram If there's one thing I excel at in life, it's dancing. I've just always had natural rhythm. ππ #ytho #europe A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Aug 12, 2018 at 3:00pm PDT
If there's one thing I excel at in life, it's dancing. I've just always had natural rhythm. ππ #ytho #europe
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Aug 12, 2018 at 3:00pm PDT
View this post on Instagram DANCING KITTIES π»π» A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Jul 5, 2018 at 2:15am PDT
DANCING KITTIES π»π»
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Jul 5, 2018 at 2:15am PDT
View this post on Instagram This is how excited I am that the brand new @mamamiaaus podcast is live, hosted by myself and @leighacampbell π€π LINK IN BIO #youbeauty #ipodcastnow A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Aug 28, 2018 at 2:14am PDT
This is how excited I am that the brand new @mamamiaaus podcast is live, hosted by myself and @leighacampbell π€π LINK IN BIO #youbeauty #ipodcastnow
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Aug 28, 2018 at 2:14am PDT
View this post on Instagram I actually can't deal with how stupid I look π Apparently this is what an ancient Egyptian snake charmer would do… π€·ββοΈπ A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Oct 10, 2018 at 1:08am PDT
I actually can't deal with how stupid I look π Apparently this is what an ancient Egyptian snake charmer would do… π€·ββοΈπ
A post shared by Kelly Lee (@kelly_mccarren) on Oct 10, 2018 at 1:08am PDT
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