23 November 2017
Oh, you think you’re so fancee over there as you swivel around on the bar stool, slowly sipping on Moet while recapping the week’s top news and current affairs? Well, I’ve got news for you. What you see as looking super stylin’ and sophisticated actually seems a little snoring to the rest of the bar (especially those hot tradie boys over there in the corner with their rugged manly stubble and concrete cowboy check shirts sinking back beers as they watch the footy. Not that that’s exactly the type you were hoping to attract… but tbh, kinda is…)
But then I don’t think I’m much better. The other day I went up to the bar and before I could even open my mouth to speak, the bartender asked “vodka soda?” Ummmm, awkwardly ‘yes’ that is exactly what I was about to order. But then I desperately wanted to change my order (except nothing came to mind, so vodka soda it was. Damn my inability to think on the spot and come up with some totally sassy retort) But what really had me annoyed was – what is it about myself that screams I’m a vodka soda type of gal?? And what type of person is that, anyway??!!
Well, the truth is – drinks have a whole lot of connotations attached to them, meaning that what you drink actually says a helluva lot about you. So before you head off in the direction of the bar next time, take a look at the list below and have a think about whether you’re sweet with being THAT person. And be better than me and have a backup option, please. Life’s just too damn short to be predictable.
Well… according to the afore-mentioned bartender, this one means that “you like to go out for a few drinks with the gals, but you’re also quite health conscious and want to get up and go for a run in the morning…” That one drink sure is saying a lot…
A bit bogan, a bit tomboy, and a whole lot down-to-earth. I think we’d get along.
You’re not afraid of a good cry. In touch with your emotions, they say. Let it out girl, let it out.
You might not have joined the other 97 percent of Instagram users that travelled to Italy this year – but that don’t mean you can’t join in on the action. You are one fun-loving holidaying kinda gal. Bellisima!
We can count on you for some good solid hearty values.
It’s cheap. It’s nasty. And it’s a whole lot of trouble. Kinda like yourself.
You work hard and play harder. The night is young and you’re here for the long haul.
A bit of a straight shooter – you say it how it is. #fact
The good girl next door. Maybe a bit beige but always described as “decent” and “nice”.
Cheery, up for a laugh, and definitely up for some dancefloor action (when you’re not arguing with the DJ about why he won’t play any Shania Twain).
You’re cool. Damn cool. The type of cool that makes me want to go home and change my heels for converses and come back riding my skateboard – except I don’t have a skateboard, and my cons are waaaaaay too clean to be cool. Damn.
Let me guess, you like to borrow your sister’s ID? You rule breaker, you.
Girl, you’re wild. Wild, I tell ya… Now pass me the bottle…
Words by Yelena Fairfax.
26 March 2020
24 March 2020