Funny Shit LIfe
16 August 2018
Your blood starts boiling, you see red, and the inner beast starts to run a little rampant. Sound familiar? Rage can happen to the best, but it’s what you do with that rage that can determine how crazy you really are.
So next time you feel yourself going a little wild inside, try and stay within the lines of understandable (slightly insane, but we get it) as opposed to going full blazing psycho (stark, raving demented).
Understandable: Giving them the finger, a hoot, and then driving off faster than necessary
Psycho: Jumping out of the car and bashing on their car window while screaming at them
Understandable: Sending your friend the bill for dry cleaning
Psycho: Going over to your friend’s house with a bucket of red paint and throwing it over all her clothes
Understandable: Phone her and have a heated convo about the fact she’s sleeping with your boyfriend
Psycho: Send her threatening messages every 15 minutes then track down her house and leave sinister notes under her doorstep that you know her mum is going to find
Understandable: Send your meal back to the kitchen and ask to have the replacement for free
Psycho: Loudly tell everyone in the restaurant what has happened, leave comments on their social media and yours, and then leave exaggerated bad reviews about them online
Understandable: You take her off your own party list and decide that your Saturday brunch dates are over for at least the next two weeks
Psycho: Bitching about her to anyone who listens and telling them anything nasty she’s ever said about them behind their back – no matter how far back it goes
Understandable: Five phone calls and five messages asking him where the eff he is
Psycho: Working out his Apple ID and using the “Find my iPhone” app to track him down and turn up unannounced
Understandable: Calmly chatting to your boss about the reasons why you think you deserve a payrise before going out with your bestie and sinking vodkas while discussing how your boss is a big fat unreasonable cow
Psycho: Storming into your boss’ office and angrily swiping everything off her desk while telling her she’s made a “big mistake. Big. Huge.”
Understandable: Sneak out anyway
Psycho: Steal your parent’s car keys and drive straight to your family lawyer to file for emancipation.
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