Dating Games: The Worst Lines We’ve Heard

17 September 2017

Just in case you’ve been living under a rock or are a noob who doesn’t follow us on Instagram, you may have missed our Showpo Instagram Advent Calendar; daily deals from gifts with purchase, exclusive discounts, and some epic competitions.

Yesterday our competition was a sparkly number for NYE, and given it’s a night where people prowl around looking for someone to kiss at midnight, I thought what a better time than to find the funniest pick-up lines.

The winner and all runner-up entries are below – prepare to giggle, roll your eyes, and spit out your afternoon cwaffee.


My winning lass was @lisannepiers, who had me in stitches with her MULTIPLE hilarious pick-up lines….

“are u a volcano bc i lava u”

“is ur birthday on october ten? cause ur a 10/10”

“if i were a cat i would spend all 9 lives with u”

“we’re not socks but i think we’d make a great pair”

And there were more… this chick was on FIRE!

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Congratulations @lisannepiers, I bet you’re never without a date with those gems  ?

Now onto the runner-ups…

nguyen.patricia “This dress is made of sequins, but I’m made of girlfriend material ?”


bigkid_liss “I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can still make your bed rock ?”


melethepalagi_ “Are you related to Yoda? Cause YODALICIOUS.”


bethy_babey “Your lips look so lonely would they like to meet mine? ?”


melethepalagi_ “Are you a donkey trainer? Cause I desperately need you to punish my ass”


nalyk19 “Is your body from McDonalds? Because I’m loving it.”

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valmareli“Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only 10 I see!”


melethepalagi_ “Do you wanna play Mona Lisa? I’ll be Lisa and you make me moan ?”


migdalia_romero “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Hi, I’m (insert name) *holds out hand for handshake*”

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x.breeza.x “Do you play quidditch? Because you look like a keeper ?”


melethepalagi_ “Do you know the alphabet? Cause I want you to give me the 4th letter ?”


nikyala_che “Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!”


stephhhaanieee“I hear you’re good at algebra…..Will you replace my eX without asking Y?” ??


lucyjcollins “I hope you got pet insurance, cause tonight I’m gonna destroy that pussy”

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lucyjcollins “Do you know what would look good on you? Me.”


missgracemcgregor “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”


melissaradford “Can I get your picture? Because I want to show Santa what I want for Christmas ??”


valeriederuijter “Boy, if you come to my house on Black Friday; all clothes will be 100 percent off  ?”

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clarekelly21 “Can I take a photo of you because I want to show my mum what my next girlfriend looks like ??”


maddiecraft “Baby, I’m no weather man. But expect a few inches tonight…”


kamikabuckingham “My name might not be Luna, but I sure can Lovegood ?”

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jess_tatton@showpo “hey girl, how would you like your eggs? Fried, scrambled or fertilised ? ?”


narshani “You must be a high roller, because you make my bar raise!”


aaallannaaa “Are you cinderella because I can see that dress disappearing at midnight”


ramona.meili@xxbibble  “roses r red, grass is greener, when i think of you i touch my wiener”


Please note these captions were copied directly from Instagram so please excuse the spelling/grammar – I left everything exactly as it was posted as they’re funnier and more authentic like that.