Ahhh modern romance. Ain’t it grand? We’ve all been at the receiving end of a fuck boy booty call (and many of us are guilty of sending them ourselves), but what do you do if you really don’t want a bonk? If you’d rather take out your eyeballs and rub them in dog shit than sleep with this sleaze bag? Or if they’ve been taking you for granted and you need to show them that you’re not just somebody’s side piece that will stand to attention at a moments notice?
Sure, you could just ignore it. But where’s the fun in that? Respond with one of these cleverly crafted and hilarious clapbacks instead. We’ve got one for every type of line the not-so-humble fuck boy will try…
#1 Get their hopes up and then CRUSH them 😈
Cool, I’ll head over now.
Oh shit sorry, I thought you meant ‘up’ as in ‘under penis’, I’m busy right now. X
*also works for pussy
#2 Stab them with brutal honesty 🔪
I miss you…
Yeah well, I miss real orgasms
#3 Soccer punch them with self-confidence ️⚽️
You’re so sexy
#4 Scare the sh*t out of them 👻
What are you wearing?
A wedding dress
#5 When you’ve reached your limits 🙅
No thanks, already had my five a day.
#6 Don’t mince your words 😝
#7 Hit ‘em where it hurts 👊
I’m sorry, can we try again?
Woah just almost choked to death on your bullshit. Must need a bigger dick to improve my gag reflex.
#8 Apologise 🤭
Sorry about last night, I was drunk.
Sorry we ever met, I was drunk.
#9 Bring up past performance 😉
Yes, but sadly I know from experience that your dick won’t be after the amount of JD and cokes you’ve had tonight. Good luck and good night.
#10 Have an epiphany 💡
I wasn’t, but I just became woke. Delete my number.
#11 Cool story bro 🙄
#12 And finally, completely crush their ego…🙊
*sends unwarranted picture of penis*