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07 November 2019
When you type into Google, ‘the honeymoon stage’, they’re so many articles that come up about how to revive your relationship and how to get back ‘that spark’. In my opinion, being past the honeymoon stage is better than being in it. It’s a sign that your relationship is stronger than ever! There’s no real scientific evidence to prove when the honeymoon stage is over but this list might help you find out.
You’ve started using words that you never did before, sometimes more frequently than you’d like to admit. You might start putting weird endings onto words, shortening them or totally butchering their pronunciation altogether You don’t worry if your partner thinks you’re dumb, that’s just the way you speak to each other.
Let it rip! You don’t get embarrassed about farting in front of each other anymore. You can casually say in front of each other, “I just farted” and “I need to take a shit”. Or you don’t even have to tell them. You’ll just fart and wait til they notice.
Speaking of bodily functions, you can go to the loo in front of them and continue the conversation as you do. However, I will never understand how some couples can do a poop in front of each other. That’s where I draw the line. No one, not even someone that’s been inside me needs to see, hear and smell that. Let me take my shit in peace!
The first stage of planning your future together is imagining your future dog and it’s name. Tagging each other in dog memes, sending each other dog videos and discussing the best dog breeds are some of the most exciting conversations you will have.
Going further, you’ll randomly find yourself talking about your favourite girls and boys names. Be prepared to cringe and say, “hell no” when they say a name you don’t like. This is your way of subtly or maybe not so subtly hinting that you want to have their babies, even if it’s still early in the relationship.
You can wail, “I have no idea why I’m crying” with puffy eyes and snot dripping out your nose and they won’t think twice about it. If your reaction to frustration, sadness, excitement and stress is to cry, your partner won’t take the way you react personally.
You’ll straight up admit when something they do annoys you or you don’t like something. It’s not being mean, it’s just what’s on your mind. Better to be honest and talk it out than let your annoyance fester and become a bigger deal later.
Zero apologies for your spiky legs, they can deal with it. Keeping the bush neat and tidy all the time is also way too much effort. If they want to have sex with you, hair or no hair downstairs won’t matter to them.
You don’t have to impress your bf/gf anymore so au naturale it is! Honestly, they’ve probably already seen you with smudged make-up all over your face when you’ve ‘forgotten’ to take it off one night after going bar hopping. That’s way more of a fright for them than your face with no make-up at all.
Eating burritos for the second time that week, demolishing a whole pizza each, drinking soft drink by the litre and buying a donut for breakfast are all things you feel comfortable doing in front of each other. Unless, you or your partner are a nutritionist or PT. You’re both smart enough to know you should make better choices but there’s zero guilt there.
Too much information, what’s that? You physically get the closest you can ever get to someone when you have sex so there’s nothing wrong with asking your partner to check out that sore spot on your bum or tell them there’s something weird going on with your period this month. Even if they don’t know WTF is going on, it’s good to get another pair of eyes or ears.
You would much rather stay in, cuddle on the couch, order take-out (did someone say burritos?) and watch TV than go out. You know you’ve passed the honeymoon stage when you find yourself admitting that you should probably go outside and do something productive. That new Netflix special can wait.
And speaking of that TV addiction, you actually feel angry when they watch an episode you were supposed to watch together. How dare they?!
Besides your best friends, your partner is the top person to go to at the end of the day to complain about everything that has been bothering you. Even if it’s the smallest frustration, you know that you can get it off your chest without them judging.
Remember those days when you’d wear sexy lingerie under your date night outfit? Nowadays, comfort is key and the lingerie thing is something to satisfy yourself more than your partner. All they want to do is take it off anyway.
If you or your partner does something a bit sketchy, they’ll be the first to call you out on it. Sure, it might sting at first but their comment won’t negatively affect your relationship. They usually have your best interests at heart and being able to talk about things that make you uncomfortable will only make the relationship stronger.
You know you’re way past the honeymoon stage when you can’t hide anything from them. When it comes to your dorky self, it’s something that can’t be repressed. You can say the most stupid, ridiculous things in front of each other without getting embarrassed. If anything, this all becomes an inside joke and makes you love each other more. It’s such a nice feeling when you know you can truly be yourself in your relationship.
Out of the honeymoon phase and glad for it, Tamara Bose.
26 March 2020
24 March 2020