26 September 2017
How annoying is it when you’re keen AF for some dude and his exceptionally performing peen, only to spend the majority of your day wondering whether he feels the same way about you and your magical poonanie.
Girl, I feel ya.
We’ve all been there I promise. So to help a gal out, I’ve devised an easy list of signs to look out for in order to successfully gauge his interest (or lack thereof) for you and your poonanie…
Galssss, surely you know by now that this is a MAJOR sign for a booty call boy and he’s ONLY interested in your poonanie, not that great personality that comes with it!? Make sure you check out our article on avoiding fuckboys as the booty call boy is a prime candidate for fuckery.
MAJOR RED FLAG. This is a key sign he’s not into you as he know’s he’s going to want to cease banging at some point and leave you with no form of stalking contact. We live in a world where we’re following our barista on insta so if the dude who is putting his parts in your parts can’t chuck you an add… well, you know what to do.
If you’re texting him a few times before he responds you need to put your phone down ASAP and walk away. Unless he’s an exception to the rule and just happens to be terrible with technology, he’s just not that into you. Otherwise, he’d be texting you back on the reg.
Sorry, but if you go to some dudes house bonking till the wee hours, one would assume you could safely pass out without being passive-aggressively poked awake ‘um babe, you fell asleep and you know, um I have to get up early for the gym…’ If he doesn’t want to make space for you in his bed, he certainly isn’t looking to make space for you in his life.
TIP: Boys are gross. Don’t go to their place in the first place. Always make them come to you, gives you power 💪
Reason 514 you shouldn’t go to his place, he’ll message you about an errant sock or hair elastic you accidentally leave. Heaven forbid there’s a sign of a lass at his place!
If all your time together involves bonking or watching Netflix in a dark room, you probably need to rethink how much value he places on your time. GF, you deserve to be taken for brunch and a nice walk in the sunshine. With a bit of hand-holding if that’s your jam.
Most dudes hate talking about the feels, hell, I do too. But sometimes you have to have a chat to suss out where you’re both at. Without it, you could still be in the ‘no sleepover’ stage without realising. Meanwhile, a certain Jenner is apparently pregs after the same amount of time.
If you’re letting someone put his parts in your parts on the reg and haven’t met anyone in his life (or vice versa) for an extended period of time, you probs need to abort mission as he obvs can’t see this bonk fest going anywhere.
If he’s often secretly typing away on his phone and faces it down while in your presence, he’s probably not just being polite. A more likely reason is that he has a few other bonk partners on the go who he’s equally not super into.
So to any of my precious gal pals who have read this and realised they’re bonking/dating/chasing someone displaying these behaviours. You a) need to get rid of him as he’s just not that into you; and b) go and find someone who realises just how bloody amazing you are, cos’ you deserve a chap who IS into you.
Words by Kelly McCarren.
26 March 2020
24 March 2020