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02 April 2019
Ever get that ick feeling when you’re with a partner? You love the idea of love and having a boyfriend, but literally, everything they do annoys you. EVERYTHING. You know you should break up with them, but it just seems easier to battle on. Things will surely get better…
Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but once the ick arrives, it’s pretty much impossible to get rid of. And the more they try, the ickier it becomes. It’s time to ditch him, sister.
3. He comes to so many of the girls’ catch-ups he’s practically one of the girls. On the other hand, you don’t even try to remember the names of his five closest friends.
4. You cringe at every nickname he’s made up for you.
5. He talks to you about the future and you reply: “You never know what’s going to happen…”
6. You watch Married At First Sight and feel like Susie and Billy’s relationship is a pretty normal one.
7. You aim to go to bed 30 mins after he does in the hope that he falls asleep so you don’t have to avoid his awkward attempts at sex.
8. When he hasn’t seen you for two days and tells you he misses you, you respond: “You’ll be right”.
10. You’ve contemplated putting your hand literally over his mouth so he stops talking.
11. He asks to come over and you tell him you have plans… [plans to spend the night alone].
12. When your mum asks you why you like him, you come up blank.
13. He brings you home chocolate and you tell him you’re on a diet… and then mutter about him trying to sabotage your life.
Truth bomb by Yelena Fairfax
21 October 2021
18 October 2021