I went to see the new cult movie ‘La La Land’ last night as it’s raking in awards quicker than a new pic of Ryan Gosling rakes in the likes.

A LOT of effort, time and talent went into it and I definitely think it deserves an abundance of shiny awards. But it wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. When I think of a musical I think of MAJOR HAPPINESS, but LLL left me feeling melancholy yet oddly warmed.

These are 100 thoughts or cunning observations I made while watching ‘La La Land’ – but only read if you’re prepared for some major spoilers.

1. Oh wow, this is definitely a ‘singing’ movie.
2. I am literally NEVER this happy.
3. Well, they should just take the Oscar for cinematography now.
4. THERE HE IS. 
5. Emma Stone looks different, why does she look different?
6. Oh ok, she’s grown out her brows.
7. I thought this movie was set in the 50s or 60s? I’m so confused by the juxtaposing set and iPhone…
8. Um, he has every right to be angry at your complete lack of awareness Stone…
9. Puffer jackets galore.
10. My GOD this girl can act.
11. Gah all her friends are so pretty and skinny. Bitches.
12. How the actual eff can she afford such nice clothes, car and apartment working as a barista?
13. How does she keep her clothes so bright? Napisan?
14. Be happier Stone, you’re going to an awesome party.
15. This seriously must be set in the 50s or 60s.
16. Unless they do things VERY differently in LA.
17. Shame, your car got towed. You should have read the street sign you noggin.
18. She’s walking in stilettos. How is she walking in stilettos?
19. She’s walking far.
20. Ok, now we’re watching Gosling’s day.
21. Oh god, he’s a ‘suffering artist’. I hate those guys.
22. My god can he play though.
23. Surely that can’t be him playing.
24. First his sister, now his boss. Everyone is on this guys case!
25. Good, I’m glad he grabbed those tips.
26. OUCH! Rejected Stone. The trailer promised a romantic kiss in this scene! Da fuq. 
27. Ok, she’s really failing these auditions. Poor lass.
28. Oh of COURSE Stone looks that good in yellow. I look like vomit in the shade but whatevs. 
29.  LOL at Gosling being so annoyed. You still cute bae.
30. I really hate this ‘bit’ where ppl who obviously want to bone pretend that they don’t want to bone when we all know they will definitely bone.
31. Oh god he’s singing.
32. GOS IS SINGING PPL.
33. He’s not very good. 
34. Ok his chivalry and slightly off-key singing are warming my heart.
35. They go for a walk and talk. Bored.
36. He REALLY likes jazz.
37. She doesn’t.
38. He tries to convince her otherwise because jazz is his LIFE and no one likes jazz. #torturedartist
39. Boring real life with boring boyfriend.
40. Oh no is she going to stand him up!? NOT GOS.
41. OOOO she leaves boring real life boyfriend at dinner as she knows not to stand Gosling up.
42. Ok they love each other.
43. They go to a weird museum thing and it looks really boring.
44. This happens and I question if I just dropped acid. 
45. SERIOUSLY! WHAT IS HAPPENING! WHY ARE THEY FLYING AROUND IN STARS SINGING!?
46. Much kissing.
47. Much love.
48. Much Gos smiles.
49. Much warm heart.
50. Why no passionate peen scenes with the Gos?
51. They sing and shit.
52. They’ve just left their drinks unattended… Seriously was the iPhone a mistake? This movie must be set in the 50s.
53. John Legend arrives on screen and he’s wearing a mustard turtleneck.
54. Gos doesn’t seem pleased to see John but it might be the turtleneck.
55. TBH I agree Gos, sometimes we need to grow up and leave our dreams behind.
56. My word I’m a negatron.
57. But seriously, get over it. Play jazz in your spare time and get a job.
58. Ok cool he has a job.
59. Now Stone doesn’t like his job cos’ bitches be going cray for the hot pianist.
60. Fair call Stone, make him quit.
61. Stone causes fight after he cooks her dinner. Well, that’s one way to ensure he never cooks again.
62. The dreadful green walls suggest 50s decor.
63. Things are looking rocky guys, I thought this was a happy film.
64. She’s preparing for what I’m guessing is a dreadful brilliant one-woman show.
65. HE DOESN’T SHOW UP!
66. OH NO.
67. No one shows up.
68. Major cringe. Want to die in hole along with poor, talented Stone.
69. She makes confusing statements about things being ‘over’. WHAT’S OVER. Emma Stone please clarify. 
70. Oh gosh she’s driven off to escape back to her hometown. #typical
71. He’s back to being a brooding, tortured artist because #life.
72. He drives out to bring her back for ‘the’ audition’.
73. Her one-woman show must have been better than this…
74. She sings instead of acting in the audition.
75. I mean, if I was in casting I’d be really pissed.
76. He has a ‘feeling’ that this is the ‘one’.
77. Oh now we’re 5 years later.
78. #shocker she’s a famous movie star.
79. #shocker he has his own club.
80. Chase your dreams ladies and squids.
81. Wait WHAT!? WHY IS SHE KISSING SOMEONE OTHER THAN GOSLING.
82. Is that the boring boyfriend from the start?
83. HOLD UP, she has a KID!?
84. Movies, new boring bae and a kid in 5-years. Over-achiever.
85. Ok well this is just f**ked. I don’t enjoy this.
86. Date night with boring bae. Snore.
87. All this traffic is making me never want to visit LA.
88. Boring bae and famous Stone enter a bar and surprisingly no one knows who she is?
89. PLOT TWIST, it’s Gos’ Jazz club!
90. She sees him.
91. Her heart rips apart.
92. He sees her.
93. He plays ‘their’ song.
94. I’m done. Can’t deal.
95. Ahhh the ol’ ‘what if’ montage.
96. If only THIS had actually happened at the start.
97. All of the feels.
98. They smile at each other.
99. My cold heart is on fire.
100. The end.

PHEW.

One major thing that kept running through my head during the movie was ‘girl you need more colour in your life’. So I’ve picked a few colourful styles to inject pops of colour into my wardrobe just like Miss Stone.

Words by Kelly McCarren.