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21 September 2017
The other day I watched a Live Instagram Story of Justin Bieber chewing gum. Loudly. I probably sat there watching for over 30 minutes [which made me run sooooo late to meet my friends… and no, I did NOT tell them the reason for said lateness #shame].
But while I began questioning my life choices about 27 minutes in, I was not alone in my viewing preferences. There were 300,000+ of us watching. I repeat, 300,000+. Can you imagine that many people tuning in to watch you chew your gum?! Yehr, nup.
As I watched, the comments were coming in thick and fast. Aside from a few remarks of: “This is disturbing!” and “Check out my online shop!”, most were of the proclaiming their love variety. Which got me thinking, with so many people “loving” him, how would Justin really go in the love department? Would he make a great boyfriend? Or even just a good one? Let’s have a lil look…
Watch as your Instagram account numbers legit go through the roof. Overnight social media sensation.
You’ll instantly become the most hated female in the 14-20 age category across the globe. Prepare yourself for the trolling onslaught. Oh, and you’ll also be answerable to Selena Gomez fans. And some of them be crazeeee.
Listening to THAT VOICE sing you sweet nothings while you snuggle up together on the couch.
Singing is his job… unlikely he’s going to want to work at home. Might have to just buy yourself a ticket to his show like the rest of us #payup
I mean, one could stare at that twelve-pack all day…
He knows it.
Access to celebrity friends like Kim Kardashian West and Will Smith.
You know when you try your darn hardest to impress your BF’s friends in order for them to like you? Well… times that by 1,000,000.
Being able to show your new boyfriend off to your ex would be oh such sweet victory if it was Justin Bieber. Hello green-eyed monster.
His ex is Selena Gomez. You got yourself some stiff competition there my friend.
You make up your own mind. All we’re going to say is that we are, and always will be, beliebers. Nuff said.
Words by Yelena Fairfax.
26 March 2020
24 March 2020