With the reappearance of Game of Thrones onto the scene, I’ve basically resigned myself to the fact that I’m losing an hour of each week to the dark hole of Winterfell and King’s Landing. Between you and me, I’ve never really cared for the show. I’d like to get caught up in all the hype, but somehow, not even Kit Harington’s rugged good looks can keep me interested for the whole hour; so certainly not for season after season.
My boyfriend, on the other hand, loves the show sick. I actually once found pictures of him brandishing a sword at some Game of Thrones party. I was slightly embarrassed for him and completely mortified for me – but, being the supportive girlfriend that I am, I didn’t say a word other than muttering something like: “Wow, what a big sword you’ve got there.”
With Game of Thrones now reaching its eighth season, I feel like I have become quite the pro at learning the acquired skills to not piss off my boyfriend during an airing of the show. All of these have been learnt the hard way; but basically, I like to think I’m now a pretty seasoned professional… and I’m more than happy to pass on my wisdom.
Below, I’ve outlined the different tried and true methods I use myself to ensure there is no GOT-related fighting in our household. Trust me.
RULES FOR WATCHING GAME OF THRONES
Apparently, Game of Thrones must always be watched in the pitch dark. Best not to go turning those lights on mid-scene and definitely don’t open up your computer in order to get some work done. It seems the light from the screen is WAY too bright, and let’s not even talk about your “annoyingly loud key tapping”.
Never, ever suggest that while you know it’s airing tonight, it would really work out much better for you if he could watch it the following night as you’re going to be out for dinner. Never going to happen. I think my boyfriend went into slight shock that I could even propose such a thought. My bad.
If the phone rings, don’t answer it. There’s a time and a place for conversations, and the hour between when Game of Thrones starts and ends is not that time. Got it.
Game of Thrones is a twisted maze of characters and plot lines; it’s best not to ask any questions about what is going on if you don’t want to be met by an audible sigh and then silence. Wow, the plot is so much clearer now, thanks for your help. Maybe if you really are invested in discovering what is going on, Google it. Although, Google it after the show; because apparently, the light from your phone is just as annoying as the light from your computer screen…)
Do not. I repeat, do not snigger at or mock anything that happens on the show. The show and its sordid scenes are sacrilege and a bad word must never be muttered about it.
If you accidentally learn an upcoming plot twist from one of your media friends, do not then pass them along. Think I’m still on the trouble couch from previously saying; “Oh, by the way, that Jon Snow bloke isn’t actually dead – he’s back next season”. Yep, did that.
When it gets to the end of the episode and he wants to debrief, don’t reveal that you’ve actually spent the last hour quietly getting in a little nanna nap while he was fixated on the screen. There’s no time for naps during an episode of GOT.
Too much moving around is highly inadvisable. Thirsty and need a glass of water? Busting for the toilet? Want to quickly check your Instagram but don’t want to get in trouble from the aforementioned screen light so get up to leave the room? It seems that all these things are best left until the end music rolls in… well… maybe not the toilet one. There are limits to how much crossing one’s legs really does impact on the need to go…
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