The honeymoons, the dinner party, and the settling into married life. It’s only Week 2 of Married At First Sight and we’ve already had enough drama to have us counting down the hours until the next episode (and it looks like Week 3 is going to get even saucier). MAFS producers – you’ve really outdone yourselves this year.
But just before heading into a new week of Married At First Sight, we’re taking a look at our thoughts of the couples so far…
Couple 1: Sarah and Telv
Our thoughts: Oh you big sweethearts. They both think they hit the jackpot and only have eyes for each other. The experts may have just got this one right…
Couple 2: Tracy and Dean
Our thoughts: Can we just take a look at what last week’s ‘Prediction’ was for this couple: “Lots of sex, but then his eye is probably going to start a wandering…” Nailed it! Although even we think it’s pretty crappy form to go to a party with your wife (who you just had sex with that morning) – only to jump into the prospect of a wife swap with the first girl that bats an eye at you. Tracy, you might be feeling shit now – but this guy is just your typical douche that thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fence (but let me tell you – that grass has the same piles of cow poo littered throughout that the current side does). See ya Felicia.
Couple 3: Jo and Sean
Our thoughts: Kind of feel sorry for these two. JoJo, my love – we know you desperately wanted to find true love. That you’re a big romantic and want that man in shining armour to come and sweep you off your feet. But there ain’t no point trying to force a square peg into a round hole. And there’s no need to lash out at Sean for not being the right fit and wanting to leave. If the signs are blatantly screaming “I want to leave, I want to leave, I want to leave”, then you can’t really blame the fella if he then says “I want to leave”. It’s not really that shocking.
Couple 4: Alycia and Mat
Our thoughts: We so wanted this one to work. At the wedding they looked so much in love, but Mat just clearly isn’t feeling it. We get that he’s a nice guy so is sticking around to try and ignite some passion, but you unfortunately can’t force these things. Believe me, I’ve tried – but it just ends up in that awkward friend zone situation where they go in for the kiss, you move sidewards, they catch your ear… everyone just wants to leave… Not ideal.
Couple 5: Davina and Ryan
Our thoughts: What a piece of work is Davina. Girlfriend, you don’t deserve Ryan. I’ve seen your type a milllllllllionnnnn times before. You need to have every man in the vicinity want you. Insecure much? But not only that, you also want the biggest piece of meat in the room and you don’t give a crap who you step on to get to it. Ho bag central. Plus I feel poor Rysy has completely lost his fun-loving personality cos you’ve beat him down to feeling about one foot tall. Run Ryan, run!
Couple 6: Charlene and Patrick
Our thoughts: Can I just say – how well these two are getting along has actually been a bit of surprise package for us. I mean, we fell in love with Charlene at first loud giggle – but we weren’t too sure Patrick would be with us. But he seems to be 100 percent. These two are completely adorable and we are backing them all the way.
Couple 7: John and Melissa
Our thoughts: I’m super happy that these two are together, but does anyone else feel like Melissa is holding back? John is clearly a massive keeno, but I feel like Melissa is playing cautious cat. Put your heart on the line baby cakes (and while you’re doing it – please for the love of your skin, can you stop going to bed with a FULL face of makeup. It’s weird).
Couple 8: Ashley and Troy
Our thoughts: Okay, so definitely still think Troy is slightly shifty (and weird) – but his kookiness is kind of growing on us. He’s clearly pretty delusional about his own level of fabulousness and how much Ashley is into him – but it does make for pretty good television. And just LOVE how Ashley is standing up for herself now. Think these two should just stay together for all the lols it gives the rest of us.
Couple 9: Justin and Carly
Our thoughts: I think Justin is really trying – but I just don’t think he really has any true desire to be in a marriage. I get that he thinks he wants to be, but I feel he’s far more interested in the success of his ice cream business than the success of his relationship. Hopefully, he soon sees the light and gives Carly the soft serving and mr whipping she desires.
Couple 10: Sean and Blair
Our thoughts: Man, for someone that looks like a pretty simple guy – Sean seems to have more issues than Vogue magazine. I’m sorry – but did I get this right that you cried at the commitment ceremony because 5 years ago you got cheated on? FIVE YEARS?! Think someone needs to learn how to let go and move on. And also, I feel like he’s just a little too proud of the fact he’s slept with hundreds of people. It’s the humblebrag where you pretend you’re embarrassed about it – but really you secretly wish you had a neon sign that flashed above your head telling everyone about it: “Nailed 200+ chicks. See me, I’m the MAN!” Bucket please.
Couple 11: Nasser and Gabrielle
Our thoughts: Our favourite couple. I feel like everyone has a friend like Nasser in their life. The fella that’s happy to sit in the corner with the girls and gossip all night – but still likes to check in with his woman to make sure she knows she’s number one. Cuties.