What Your Sydney Suburb Says About You

This is a joke obvs...

Sydney might be just one city – but for those who live here, you know there’s some pretty huge invisible divides happening between all the suburbs. From the yuppies to the yogies, each burb has its own individual charm that you’re just never going to see written up in any Lonely Planet or Real Estate guide.

So for anyone thinking of visiting (or buying!) – maybe take a squizz below to see what you’ll really find in each…


What you drive: An Audi
What you eat: Any restaurant that has three hats – or two if you get really desperate
Where you shop: William St, Glenmore Road or Oxford St. Why would you ever want to leave Paddo?
What we’ll find you doing: Walking your labradoodle or French bulldog around Centennial Park before having a nice red at 10 William St


What you drive: A 1987 Toyota
What you eat: You prefer drinking, thanks. Never too early for cocktail hour, right?!
Where you shop: Anywhere that you can get a dress for under $70
What we’ll find you doing: Hanging out in the local carpark watching da boys go skating, comparing your tans before dropping it like its hot at Northbys


What you drive: A scooter
What you eat: A naked burger with lots of sauerkraut
Where you shop: Vinnies and Salvos – you like to scavenge around a bit of both
What we’ll find you doing: Listening to your vinyl while knitting a blanket and watching your bearded boyfriend tune his guitar


What you drive: A jeep
What you eat: Anything that’s on the menu at Balmoral Boathouse
Where you shop: Anywhere you can buy a dress for over $300
What we’ll find you doing: You live for brunch with the girls where you sit around talking about different business ventures you’re thinking about developing


What you drive: Are you kidding? Do you know how bad those things are for the environment… it’s all about the push bike
What you eat: A vegan, dairy-free, gluten-free, sugar-free smashed avo and kale breakfast bowl followed by a tumeric latte
Where you shop: Any place that sells comfortable yoga clothing and Birkenstocks
What we’ll find you doing: Beach yoga before doing a few selfies for your Insti and then it’s almost time for your vinyasa class and meditation session

Double Bay

What you drive: The latest SUV on the market
What you eat: Eating is cheating, darrrrrrling. You live for your coffee
Where you shop: You don’t shop in Australia – you like to get your threads from Milan and Paris
What we’ll find you doing: Having lattes with the ladies while bitching about how your gardener never cuts the grass quite right and discussing which company CEO your husband is taking on the yacht with him next week


What you drive: A hotted up pink Honda with a sticker on the back saying: “Bitches ride”
What you eat: You’re all about the banquet – if there’s a spread that has the likes of pulled pork, chicken skewers, falafel, and tabouli… you’re pretty happy
Where you shop: Anywhere that’s having a sale – you like to hunt them down
What we’ll find you doing: Preparing food for your family of 20 to come around so you can all watch the footy together


What you drive: A Rav4 – practical but not too expensive
What you eat: A sandwich or panini from the local shops
Where you shop: Woolworths or Coles – either is fine. Oh, you mean clothes? Country Road and Sportscraft always seem to have a good quality basic
What we’ll find you doing: Playing tennis and picking the kids up and dropping them off at various soccer and cricket commitments


What you drive: A Wicked Campers van or a kombi
What you eat: Fish and chips – you’re here for the Aussie experience
Where you shop: Quiksilver, Billabong and Ripcurl
What we’ll find you doing: Hiring a super long soft board and going surfing before heading to Wharf Bar for a couple of afternoon bevvies and then on to the Steyne before retiring and tending to all the bruises you got from hitting all those damn people in your way when you were trying to be Kelly Slater

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