Things You Wish You’d Never Heard Your Parents Say About You

We know our parents love us unconditionally, but sometimes you catch them saying something about you behind your back that there’s just really no recovering from – for either party. The truth hurts, and nothing hurts harder than when you hear your Mum and Dad voicing their real concerns about you. Ouch.

Below, we take a look at the conversations you NEVER want to hear them say…

  1. “I had such great hopes for our daughter…”

Thanks Mum, glad to hear that past tense slip in there.

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  1. “Do you think she likes girls better than boys?”

No Mum, but unfortunately it just doesn’t seem like my milkshake is bringing the boys to the yard.

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  1. “I think I might get rid of all the sugary treats in the house and buy heaps of fresh fruit and veggies”

In other words, you think I’m fat. And you can hide all the sugary treats in the world from me – and I’ll still find them. I’m good like that.

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  1. “If we run into Bob and Julie – do NOT tell them what she does for a living. Just make something up.”

I’m proud of my job at Woolworths. And no, you might have thought my university degree would take me somewhere more office-like, but I’m pretty stoked with the shift I’ve got (especially when they put Tom on the same roster as me). Bob and Julie can go bite.

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  1. “Do you think we should introduce her to Jack’s son?”

So, you don’t like my current boyfriend – is that what you’re saying?

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  1. “I might go and buy her some new clothes this weekend – something a little longer and less tight.”

God no.

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  1. “Did you see how pretty Elizabeth looked today… and how she was just helpful and polite all day? Sometimes I wish…”

Wish what Mum? Wish that I could be as boring and beige as Elizabeth? Sorry that I’ve got a personality.

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  1. “I was thinking for a Christmas present, I might get her a 12-month membership to the local gym…”

Do we call that a present or a punishment?

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  1. “Do you think we should have got her a tutor when she was in high school?”

And made me miss my days spent watching the boys skateboard outside the front of the mall? You’ve got to be joking me.

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  1. “I’m going to take away the credit card – I just want her to learn some independence…”

Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!! I can be independent, I really can. I mean, don’t make me show you how I can be, but I promise I can…  

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