12 ‘Insta Husband’ Crimes You’ve Probs Committed

18 December 2017

It’s been two years since we all had a little ol’ chuckle at that “I’m an Instagram Husband” video [you can find it here in case you haven’t seen it… or just fancy a trip down funny lane], but as much as I was laughing along with the rest of you – inside I was definitely cringing a little bit. Truth be told, I am definitely guilty of making my boyfie an Instagram Husband on the odd occasion [and times that “odd occasion” by a thousand if we happen to be on holidays #sorrynotsorry!]

But whether or not you’re a once-a-month-Instagram-poster or you’re on the Gram on the reg, you know you’ve been guilty of at least one of the below photography critiques…

“ONE PHOTO???!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME, BABE??!! I need at least 30 of those things. Just keep snapping and I’ll move. You literally just have to hold your finger on the button.”

“Don’t take it from the left. My good side is my right. Surely you know this by now…”

“Please don’t eat your food yet, I just want to get a good shot and it looks better with two meals in the frame. Just, you know, sip on your coffee for a minute. Actualllllly… your coffee looks good in the frame too. Just, you know, play on your phone for a little bit. Thanks babbbbbeeeeee.”

“Those pictures of girls holding their guy’s hand off-camera are SO adorable. I want to do one. Can you pretty please stand behind me and take a picture holding my hand. And I really don’t care if your friends are laughing at us, I bet their girlfriends make them do it too when we’re not around.”

“Can you do a boomerang of all us girls clinking our glasses? But like stand directly from above because it looks better… you might want to get a chair…”

Oh you look really cute sleeping there. I want to get a picture. No don’t move. Stay still. And I like it when you crinkle up your eyes a little. Euw, not like that! Don’t worry about it, I’ll just do a selfie of myself.”

🤦🏽‍♀️ #boyfriendsofinstagram

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“The shot makes the squad look miserable – can you just say something funny before you take the shot? And maybe just try do something that makes us look like we’re having a really good time?”

Bend it like Beckham? More like bend it like this guy 😂😂😂

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“I want a picture of me leaping, so can you count 1,2,3 and then I’ll leap on 3 while you take the picture?”

“Can we go to [insert Instagram-worthy breakfast joint] for brunch? I don’t really like the food that much, but it looks soooo pretttttttty in my pictures.”

“Can you take the shot again, but maybe get some better lighting going on? Are you tapping the screen with the light icon-thingy? And can you put the sun behind you? The lighting is making me look all fugly.”

“I don’t really like that guy in the corner. Can you angle the picture slightly so you can’t see him?”

A couple that grams together, grams forever 💕💕💕

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“Heyyyyyyyyy, I know you’re enjoying yo beer with the fellas – but this place has sssssuuuuuccchhhh a good balcony and the sun’s about to set. I really want to get a shot, promise it’ll only take one minute…”


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Words by Yelena Fairfax