You know those moments that are so awkward you want the ground to open and swallow you whole? Well, spoiler alert but there’s a solution. Faking it. Here’s our guide on how to talk your way out of some cringe-worthy life scenarios, from not knowing the show/book/news someone’s talking about to having absolutely NFI what your boss is asking you.
Faking Pop Culture
Whether it’s the Netflix show everyone is raving about or that novel everyone on Instagram is reading, it can be hard to keep up with popular culture. If you’ve got better things to do than read every book on the New York Times bestseller list or binge watch every must-see TV show out there, you can easily hit a Wiki page for a quick recap. If you find yourself in that awkward spot where your pal asks you about it before you’ve had time for a crash course, worry not. An enthusiastic “OMG it’s so on my list of things to check out, did you love it?” normally does the trick. Your friend will most likely tell you everything you need to know. From there you can usually pick up something that you do know about that you can steer the conversation towards.
Faking Current Events
We’re in the age of Google, there is no reason not to know your way around current events. Get into the habit of checking the day’s biggest headlines so you’re at least vaguely aware of what’s going on in the world. However, every so often something you haven’t yet come across will come up. The best thing to do is throw it back to the other person and ask what they made of any new developments. More often than not, whoever is asking is just hoping to get their two cents worth in so they’ll be only too eager to fill in the blanks for you.
Faking It At Work
If you’ve ever zoned out mid-conversation with your boss only to be met with “so what do you think?” you know what true fear is. This is not the time to hit them back with a blank stare and an inaudible huh? Instead, look them straight in the eye, smile and say “I think that’s something the requires a little more thought, but one thing I did find interesting was [insert something relevant here]”. Hopefully, the quick change in the topic will help them forget the fact you didn’t really answer their question.
Faking It In Posh Restaurants
Have you ever found yourself in a restaurant where the menu that requires a translator (wtf is a veloute?) and the wine list is a little more advanced than “house white”? Obviously, you don’t want the person you’re having dinner with to think you’re uncultured. If you have absolutely no idea, ask the waiter to recommend something. Pretend to mull it over and then order whatever they suggested. When it comes to wine throw out words like ‘earthy’ and ‘crisp’. They’re just about the most unimaginative wine terms you can think of but are vague enough that you’ll get away with it. Just make sure to double-check the price first. You don’t want to bullshit your way into buying a bottle of wine that has more zeros than the bill.
Faking High Culture
This is a tough one because being clueless in the company of people who really know about things like the arts is intimidating. You could take the easy way out and excuse yourself to use the bathroom. However, if you find yourself stuck and someone asks you what you think, just remember that all art whether it’s a painting, the ballet or the theatre is subjective. Be confident that there’s no right or wrong answer but don’t stand there in silence. Comment on what you’re seeing then say how intriguing/interesting/evocative it is. Throw in a buzzword if you know any and your rep is instantly saved.
Faked it til she made it, Tania Gomez