13 December 2018
The silly season is generally rife with silliness. Mid-week Christmas parties that escalate until it’s 3am and you’re bellowing ‘thank u, next‘ into a microphone that smells like old vomit in Ding Dong Dang; Boozy brunches that turn into benders when you KNOW you’re going to have to back it up at Becky’s wedding; Sunday sessions that turn into a truly terrible Monday, when you’re at work trying to deal with Susan from HR.
The list could go on…
But going to work or school (or even just trying to human) when you’ve indulged in a bit too much silliness can only be likened to a form of torture. Hangovers are honestly the worst and I would wish them on my worst enemy (*cough, Carol). But you guys aren’t my worst enemies so here are the best hangover cures that will at the very least, offer a smidgen of relief and at the best, get you back to 100% fabulousness and ready for more silliness!
No, not just the stuff you drink (that’s too obvious, but please drink a shit-ton of water if you’re hung). If you can, get your ass in some icy water. An ocean swim when you’re hungover is like being reborn, you will feel astronomically better. If the beach isn’t an option, a cold shower will suffice; you will just want the warmth but I promise cold water will wake you up and refresh you tenfold. A pool is also better than nothing but I find that super chlorinated pools can make you feel a bit queasy from the fumes and ‘thickness’ (anyone else think some pools with heaps of chemicals feel ‘thick’?).
I was so drunk at the Cosmopolitan Bachelor Of The Year Awards earlier this year (tail end of the last party season), that I woke up naked and passed out in my kitchen at 4am. Cute. It was a Friday, so I had to go to work, and I was in a world of pain. So I forced myself into an uber (wasn’t about to chance the bus with all the lurching as it stops and starts) and schlepped into the city, where I went to my gym and flopped myself into the pool for some laps and then into the sauna for a good 15 mins. It doesn’t feel good at the time, but I promise you sweating out that alcohol and all the toxins work wonders.
I did feel guilty about the person who would have gone in after me. They would have defs gotten drunk from my fumes. 😳
Any deliciously carb-y food really. Think chips smothered with gravy, juicy burgers, buttered chicken curry….mmmmm yummy.
NOTE: If you’re one of those people who swear by a ‘green juice’ when hung, we can’t be friends.
Or whatever painkillers you’ve got TBH. This ‘cure’ works way better if you pop a few before you go to bed and chug down a giant glass of water with it. But of course, painkillers will generally help headaches (or general aches from twerking too much) whenever you take them.
7Eleven or Maccas. I don’t care where TF it’s from; when I’m hungover I need one of the icy treats poured down my gullet in a similar to fashion to the vodka the night prior. I don’t know if it’s the coldness, caffeine, sugar or all 3 but I can generally sink 2-3 of these and I feel better.
This is for my bishes that get nauseous AF when they’re hungover. The formula is aimed to assist with nausea so they work a treat.
I have a Berocca every day anyway but having an extra hit of multivitamins on a tummy brimming with alcohol is always a good idea. The tropical flavour is the best and this particular ‘hangover cure’ is my bf’s fave – he swears by it!
I like to keep a packet of electrolyte icy poles in the freezer during party season, and I try to always remember to have one when I get home after too many tipples. They’re yummy so drunk you will want one (unlike a boring glass of water) and they’ll hydrate you prior to any hangover setting up camp, which will lessen any sad partying side effects when you wake up. If you’re still feeling shoddy the next day or forgot to have one, keep sucking on these bad boys and you’ll get all those missing electrolytes back into you way quicker. If you’ve ever had bad gastro or ended up in the hospital dehydrated, these icy poles are actually what the nurses will give you – so they must be bloody good!
Tip: They also have powders and effervescent tablets but I am basically a 5yo in a 30yo body so I like the icy poles.
Ok so these ‘natural hangover relief tablets’ are bloody useless unless you take them while you’re drinking, but if you remember to down 4 of these bad boys you’ll feel so much better in the AM! My only issue with these is how big they are (like other vitamins) and you need to take 4 for them to be effective. When you’re drinking, these stuck in your throat ain’t pretty.
My boss makes her EA have a chilled Powerade on her desk after every big night, she swears by them! I personally am more of a frozen coke type of gal but SO MANY people I know swear by sports drinks!
I’ve personally never tried this one as I have a pathological fear of needles in my veins (getting blood tests is FUN). But if I fucked up, and had gone way too hard the night before something super important – I’d probably consider it. A hangover drip is exactly what it sounds like, a drip that goes into your arm and will pretty much erase your hangover in 30-60 minutes. By filling your bloodstream with lost fluids and vitamins directly, you’re cutting out all the ‘absorption’ period from other hangover cure methods. Some concoctions even have anti-nausea/anti-inflammatory drugs in them, creating a superman version of the humble hangover cure.
REMEMBER that it does involve a drip (A NEEDLE IN YOUR FUCKING ARM PEOPLE). PLUS, they can be $$$ AF, so this is not a sensible option for every Saturday, ok?
Duh. If you have the luxury of being able to nap or just go back to bed, DO IT. If you don’t HAVE to be awake to suffer through this torture, don’t!
Sorry health professionals everywhere but this works a dang treat. If you can, hair of the dog works 90% of the time and it’s pretty much the only way I got through a recent European jaunt. Oh, you wake up feeling dusty? Nothing a mimosa can’t fix, bitch!
While I was asking for suggestions around the office, I was also suggested watermelon and ice blended, which sounds DELICIOUS and oh-so hydrating. So I’m going to go get drunk just to test this one, all in the name of research.
The only exercise I want to do after a night of pretending my liver is dehydrated is the unsightly act of pulling myself from room to room when walking seems like too much effort.
HA. What idiot decided naked fumbling would EVER be a good idea when hungover?! See above thoughts on exercise.
Cold coffee, yes. Hot coffee when you feel like shit? 🤮
What are your hangover cures? PLS FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANKIND, LMK ANY GOODIES!
Want more? Check out our ‘5 types of hangovers’ article.
Yours, perpetually hungover, Kelly McCarren.
DISCLAIMER: The material published on this blog is intended for general information only and is not professional medical advice.
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