What Bachelor in Paradise Can Teach Us About Dating

Will you accept this rose?

It’s that time of year again where we eagerly watch the final episode of a show that is just a bunch of people from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette get thrown onto an island, plied with booze and then play relationship musical chairs. Apart from being wildly entertaining, what could we actually learn from this little reality TV petri dish of dating? Well, plenty. From getting closure from a breakup to knowing your worth, here are a few things that Bachie in Paradise has taught us…

Be wary of beer goggles

The fact it looks like it’s 9am and everyone seems to be smashing cocktails is a testament to why copious amounts of alcohol can sometimes hinder your judgement when it comes to dating. Drunkeness = So. Much. Drama.

Getting closure on a relationship is important

The Richie/Alex Nation chat was without a doubt one of the most uncomfortable 10 minutes of reality TV ever but it did go to show that sometimes you just need to have it out with your ex to truly put a relationship behind you.

Don’t hang onto something that’s not there

We’re all guilty of hanging onto something just that bit too long because we’ve built up the love story of our times in our head *ahem* Rachel *ahem* but sometimes you just have to get real. We felt for Rachel wanting to find love but her habit of having a “connection” with any male in a 10-metre radius (whether it was reciprocated or not) made us just want to give her a big hug and say “let it go, girlfriend”.

Always be yourself

Yes, Brittney came across like she was unhinged at times but you can’t deny she was a perfect example of not being afraid to be yourself. From her quirky dance moves to her total honesty, you could tell she wasn’t putting on a façade in order to attract a guy. And if there’s one thing that’s important in the dating game, it’s the fact that you should never have to compromise who you are for love.

Once a liar, always a liar

Bill is shady AF and his gaslighting of Florence and Alex was downright appalling. It’s a lesson in the fact that if someone lies once, it’s likely that they’ve done it other times. A relationship should be based on honesty and if the person you’re dating starts telling porkies at the start, what else are you in for if you actually get together? Also anyone who calls a totally innocent woman “a salty b*tch” and “a piece of shit” all in the one sentence in the name of deflecting attention from their guilty self just ain’t worth it.

Keep your cool

Let us cast our eyes to Ivan for a lesson in why it’s important to keep a lid on it till you’re genuinely a thing with someone. The fact Ivan seemed like he was ready to propose marriage four days after meeting Tenille, looked like he wanted to end Nathan, Jules and even poor American Alex and likely anyone else in possession of a penis for talking to her, then lurked in her room as she peed is a lesson in how not to act when you start hanging out with someone. A jealous stage five clinger does not a dream man/woman make. Plus in Ivan’s case it was just downright scary.

Go for what you want

Paradise is a prime example of why it pays to be confident in pursuing someone you’re interested in. You can’t sit back and just wait for things to happen. So don’t be afraid to strike up a convo with someone you’re keen on. You never know where it could lead.

Even “I haven’t been on a date” Mack and his unbelievably awkward banter with women managed to get a kiss. 

Be with someone who knows what they want

Beware of members of the dating species that resemble Jules and his “umbrella of ambiguity”. Poor Alisha had her heart broken more times than she’s worn a dental floss bikini in Fiji and it’s all because of Jules. While they may be charming, they’ll lead you on, give you hope and then disappear the moment they think they’ve found someone better. Repeat after us: I deserve better.  

It’s better to be upfront than ghost someone

Watching Ivan just totally blank Brittney who he’d been swapping saliva with just 24 hours earlier once Tenille walked in was ghosting at its finest. That said, there have been some honest chats had on the daybed. Sometimes when someone realised they weren’t interested anymore they actually voiced their desire to explore other connections. And it was downright refreshing. It’s the courteous thing to do and it avoids further confusion. If only Tinder were so civilised…

Lessons learned by Tania Gomez

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