DatingLIfe

What It’s Like To Be The Only Single In Your Group

If you’re single and you know it, clap your hands. Not funny, eh? Whether you’ve recently come out of a relationship or have been single for a while, either way there’s a stigma associated when you’re the only one in your group who isn’t attached. It’s mostly played out accidentally, but how you feel and how your friends act in this situation is a pain in the a-hole. I’ve always been the one in a relationship until recently. Now that the tables have turned I feel (possibly imagined) a shift in my role in the group. I’m sure I’m not the only one but boy do I feel lonely at times. So let me tell you the funny and not funny feelings of what it’s like to be the only single in your group.

You feel like the good girl gone bad

Kind of like Marissa Cooper in The OC when she’s boozing and keeping the company of bad boys like Volchock. Your lifestyle is sometimes described as wild in comparison to their routinely planned out weeks with their bae’s. Because I’m out drinking most weekends with different people, I start developing theories that my friends think I’m off the rails. It’s half true (they will think you’re adventurous) and half a self deprecating trap so just enjoy having fun.

You become a professional third, fifth or seventh wheeler

Once you become the token single in your posse, they will (sometimes obligated) still invite you to what would otherwise be double dates or couples trips. They’ll pretend that it’s totally cool but deep down you feel like the reject child who didn’t have anyone to sit next to on the bus.

You’ll always have the best stories come Monday morning

Evidentially because your life is the most unencumbered right now. And let’s be honest, your friends in relationships are relatively boring. No surprise hook-ups, awkward dates or single behaviour to report so they will count on you for goss to entertain them.

Sometimes you’ll question what’s wrong with you

Because I’m surrounded by happy couples, I sometimes throw a self pity party for one. It’s pathetic but it happens. At first I used to retreat from my friends during these episodes but now I realise it’s more helpful to spend time with them. Because if you’re honest with them about how you’re feeling they’ll do a great job of reminding you why you’re so great and don’t need a boyfriend anyway.

Their boyfriends start to feel like your quasi boyfriend

I now rely on my besties bf’s to help me plant shop at Bunnings or give advice on buying a new car.  Somehow I accidentally morph them into this role, they never seem to mind (outwardly) so I never decline their help. Go figure.

You start a new secret-ish life

By this, I mean I’ve started hanging out with new people and doing new things. This is only natural because they’re not always up for leaving the house so it feels like a secret world they know nothing about. It also feels like I’m cheating on them, but I am and you will enjoy this dynamic, because a night out isn’t predictable as it is with your coupled up friends who bail at midnight.

 

Post by Jennifer Aitken.

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