Tap tap, who’s that knocking on your back door?
Oh just a giant cock, NBD.
Sorry to be blunt, but you read the title so you knew what you were getting into and there’s no point beating around the bush. Pun intended.
Just checking you’re immune to these words before we continue because this isn’t PG stuff. OK let’s dive in… haha. Oh dear.
My attitude toward sex is pretty simple: if you don’t like it, don’t do it.
The only problem with that is, how do you know you don’t like it if you haven’t tried it?
Yep, the same argument your mum would make to coax you into trying broccoli is often used as a strong line of reasoning in sexual exploration.
And the great thing about sex is that there is A LOT to explore. Just when you think you’ve ticked everything off, there’s another position, another sensation or… another hole.
So let’s talk about assplay. Everyone always rushes straight to anal but realistically, a hell of a lot can be done with a butt hole before that. A little tickling here, a little finger there, and let’s not forget that rim job from Girls.
My advice? It isn’t going to be amazing right away, so go in with your wits and tits about you. Start off slow. Feel it out, have a poke around and invest in a slippery assistant. Lube people, it’s the way forward.
And lastly, don’t you dare feel ashamed.
Assplay has always been a bit of a taboo subject, but it isn’t wrong in any way and thankfully, it’s starting to be normalised. I mean you can barely watch a music video without seeing a big ol’ butt bouncing up and down, and so it was only natural for it to start featuring more and more in the bedroom.
From 2009 to 2015, search volume for anal sex videos on PornHub increased by 78% worldwide and 120% in America alone.
And according to a SKYN® Condoms survey of 3,000 sexually active millennials, 35 percent of women and 15 percent of men are engaging in anal sex “at least some of the time”
That’s quite strong numbers for a sexual act that was once only discussed in hushed whispers, if at all.
BUT (ha) if anal is slowly but surely becoming a regular dish on the sex menu, is it going to be exciting, naughty and illicit enough to satisfy the sexual deviants that led the anal charge?
And if assplay is so yesterday, what’s the next big thing?
The Archives of Sexual Behaviour revealed only 24 percent of men and 8 percent of women have had a mixed-gender threesome. But despite the stats being lower than those for assplay (well for women anyway) – the potential is there. The same survey showed 82 percent of men and 31 percent of women were interested in having a threesome.
And if we’ve learnt anything from sticking inanimate objects up our butts, curiosity often gets the better of us.
Our interest in threesomes will soon be reality and I suspect that percentage number to rise in the coming years, just like it did with assplay.
So if you’re considering opening that back door, just know that it could be a gateway to so much more… And my money is on threeways.
Words by Samantha McMeekin.