9 Signs You’re Dating A Total Douche


They say love is blind, but holy shit sometimes we really can’t spot a douche from right under our noses.

And unless your friends have got some balls, they’re not going to tell you outright if the guy you’re dating is a total dud – plus you’re the only one who knows what goes on behind closed doors and that’s usually where most of the douchery takes place.

So if you’re unsure or having second thoughts, here are some solid signs he’s a bit of a dick…

#1 He doesn’t confirm plans until the last minute 🙄

If he never commits to a date more than two days away, he doesn’t deserve a date at all. You’re essentially his fallback if he has nothing better to do.

#2 He judges your friends 🙅

Just because you call your friends sluts and whores, doesn’t mean he can.

#3 His name begins with a J 🐍

Jack, James, Josh, Jonno, Jayden – if he starts with a J, stay away.

#4 He doesn’t go down on you 🤨

That shit ain’t right. Especially if you’re giving him plenty.

#5 He wears more than one ring 💍

Or a ring and necklace combo. Essentially the more jewellery, the more douchey.

#6 His necklines are lower than yours🤦

The bigger the scoop, the bigger the no.

#7 He’s all text and no phone calls 🤳

We’re not saying he has to ring you every day, but if you get a text at 3am saying “you awake?” instead of a drunken, slurring (but often charming) phone call, he just wants to get his parts in your parts.

#8 You despise his friends 👬

Literally, there is not one of them you have met and liked. And if you think his friends are douchebags, chances are he’s exactly like them when you’re not around.

#9 His only attributes are physical 🍆

Get yours and get out.


Words by Samantha McMeekin



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