Ever heard your friend crying down the phone to you because they’ve just broken up with their boyfriend, except when they tell you why – a little voice in your head is thinking ‘oooooouuuuch gurl, may have gone a little too far there…’?
It’s kinda like the time one of my guy friends was telling me his ex wouldn’t get back with him – and when I asked him why, he said it might have been because they were at a boat party together and she saw him kissing two other girls at the same time. Ummmm. Fair play on the ex. I mean – if you’re wanting to get back with her, I’m going to take a wild stab and suggest that this probably isn’t the best way to go about it.
But for those (like my friend) who are a little fuzzy on where the line is when it comes to relationship don’ts – we’re taking a lil look at some of the things that are probably considered crossing it…
- You jump up on a guy at a party, wrap your legs around him and start dry humping on the DF… except it’s your boyfriend’s Christmas party, and the guy you’re humping is his boss.
- You come home drunk and in between vomits tell him that your relationship is a fraud and that you’ve never been in love with him… before listing off the reasons why your ex is better than him.
- You grab the keys from the kitchen bench and take his car for a spin, then sell the car, take the cash for the car, grab the girls, book the next flight to Vegas, jump on the plane, live it up in the casino and hotel pool… and then a week later come home and explain why you’ve been uncontactable for the past 7 days.
- You text his brother to tell him that he was looking particularly hot at today’s family function… and then finish the text by asking what him and his Dad are doing that evening.
- You paint the entire house bright pink and then throw out anything manly, including his favourite football jersey and his tool kit… that he needs for work.
- You pick a fight with literally EVERYTHING he does… “I can’t believe you’re eating dinner with a knife and fork. It’s so annoying”, “Why are you driving 60 when the speed limit is 60? Move over and let me drive”, “You keep making the toilet smelly every time you go. What is wrong with you?”
- You get a new tattoo on your bottom with an arrow pointing down saying “Jason’s property”… except your boyfriend’s name isn’t Jason.
Words by Yelena Fairfax.