DatingSex Stuff

12 Signs You’re Actually A Fuckgirl

Gurl, you savage AF!

A few months ago, I wrote a post about fuckboys that seemed to resonate with just a few lasses…

General female public be like…

But it’s really quite sexist to point the finger at shlong-holders isn’t it? I mean it’s very hilarious and smug to join forces in highlighting fuckboys, but I’m pretty sure all us ladies have participated in behaviour that could only be described as pure fuckery.

 

The thing about fuckGIRLS is that we’re a lot more manipulative and clever with our fuckery, so it’s harder to nail down actual ‘types’ of fuckgirls. So instead, I’ve delved into the traits and behaviour a fuckgirl might possess. So as a gift to all the (any?) chaps who read this, now you’ll be able to spot these fairies of fuckery. And for my ladies, read and reflect – I sure know I’m sure a culprit of a few of the below 😬😳

The 12 types of traits or behaviour a fuckgirl may possess 

You post more selfies than any other pic…

 

You’re clearly a narcissist and clearly a fuckgirl because your WHOLE FEED on EVERY single social platform is of your rig and/or her head. We KNOW that you’re attractive, we’d still like to see a nice brunch flatlay or ‘hotdogs or legs’ snap just to break things up.

FUN GAME: This girl probably has a whole reel of pics of herself. Try and steal her phone just for shits and gigs. If she’s taken the same photo so many times she’s reached double-digits, you know you need to walk about from this unacceptable narcism ASAP. 

You text your ex every now and then…

Just so he doesn’t forget about you. This is generally done after you’ve gotten a new job/uploaded a hot DP/got a new boyfriend etc – My dear, stop with this fuckery and unless you have something important to tell him or you’re still friends, just don’t do it and let him move on with his life.

You have your read receipts switched on…

 

And you open messages from dudes and then wait a few hours/days before responding. That power gets you off.

You’ve knowingly been a side chick before…

Ladies, I’m not referring to the times you’ve been duped into letting some guy put his P in your V, only to realise he has a regular V he puts his P in. I’m referring to the gals that KNOW a guy has a GF and just don’t GAF, so go after him regardless. Of course, the guy is to blame if he decides to cheat but come ON, support your sisters and don’t be a c-word.

You’re cavalier about cheating in general…

TBH you’ve never really been faithful to boyfriends and having a sneaky affair doesn’t phase your guilt-wise at all. But if he dared cheat on you, you’d bloody well chop off his balls.

You don’t refer to men by their names…

Chaps are stored on your phone as a nickname that your friends will know them by too. So there’s no ‘Jack’, ‘Sam’ or ‘Fred’ saved; rather, ‘Jack and the tiny penis’, ‘Sam the man whose in that shit band’ or ‘Foot fetish Fred’ etc

You’ve used sex as a weapon…

When you’ve fucked up with your fuckery and KNOW you have, so the best way to get him to forget about it is with your tongue.

You string guys along…

You know that you don’t REALLY want to be with them, but their cute puppy love and unadulterated admiration for you is just really nice for the ol’ ego, so you keep them around.

You keep men on retainer…

You don’t give them enough but you give them just enough per month to keep the cute messages, party invites and gifts coming in.

You only date men with money…

The WORST type of fuckgirl, a man is not a financial plan ladies! You just want someone to fund your lifestyle and career as an ‘Instagram influencer’. You really don’t give a flying fuck about him as a person, just how many zeros are attached to his bank account.

You’ve broken ‘the code’…

You know what the code is. You don’t date your friend’s ex-boyfriends even if it was one date that took place seven years ago.  And I don’t care how ‘wrong’ they were for each other, hoes before bros.

You’ve left your gal pals or canceled on them, just for the D

If you’ve been out on the town with your gals, only to leave them at 8pm to chase a rather fetching looking chap and his one-eyed-snake – you’re a  bit of a snake yourself. Gals nights are for fun not fuckery.  This also applies to those who ditch their ladies at the last minute because they swiped right on a particularly tasty treat.

 

Words by Kelly McCarren

 

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