Celeb Goss

All The Best Reactions To The Jordyn Woods Interview

“Take your medicine and tell your truth.”

It’s been a long couple of days everybody, but Jordyn Woods’ interview about the Tristan Thompson incident has finally aired. And boy, do we have some thoughts.

Luckily for you, dear reader, my own manic musings are going to be interspersed with those of the internet for two reasons.

  1. Twitter is funnier than I’ll ever be and,
  2. I could feel a real sense of solidarity at 3:30 this morning when I was watching this. By solidarity I mean FB kept dropping out because the entire world was trying to tune in.

FYI, I never really cared about the Kardashians until now but you best believe this scandal has gotten me hooked.

Let’s get into it:

“This has been difficult for three families”. Jada, you don’t even go here, let’s just settle down about the Smith family’s role here, okay?

This opening sequence is way more Abducted In Plain Sight than daytime talk show. Was Jordyn abducted? Did the aliens hook up with Tristan? Time will tell I suppose.  

Oh so this is Jayden’s fault, called it.

“The event has forced three families, the Woods, the Kardashians and the Smiths into a very public and painful incident”. Again Jada, HOW? Call me, I need clarification.

Rude that they didn’t pick our headlines for that cutaway.

“As women, we’ve all been here”. Um, sorry, I haven’t ever hooked up with my bestie’s, sister’s baby daddy so let’s just bust that myth.

OMG YAS WILL SMITH CAMEO.

“That table has mythological cleansing and healing powers” um, you okay Will?

Okay, I know it’s not what this interview is about, but do you think Jordyn will divulge her skincare routine?

“I shouldn’t have even been there” Well DUH.

Love how much attention Jada is giving Jordyn’s hand gesture representation of what outdoor patio furniture looks like.

Let’s all hold a minute’s silence for Jordyn’s driver who was left waiting outside the party the whole time. You sir, or madam, deserve more.

“What do you mean by kiss?” “It was like a kiss on the lips” ARE WE FIVE YEARS OLD?

Mmm, good tactic. If you pretend it didn’t happen, it doesn’t count.

“I was trying to protect Khloe’s heart”. No GF, you were trying to protect your permanent residency at Kylie’s mansion. Why else would you tell half the story?

“I know I’m not the reason Tristan and Khloe are not together” *Kris whips out NDA*

Still not over Jordyn’s skin FYI.

I wish Will Smith would hold me through all my personal dramas. Or just hold me in general tbqh.

“The arms that I thought would be around me are nowhere to be seen”, am I sensing Kardashian shade? Not the time, Jordyn.

Jordyn’s wearing head to toe black. Is she mourning her death as Kylie’s BFF?

“Can we have the fishbowl?” Sorry what? Who are you talking to? What do you need a fishbowl for?

That’s obviously more of a punchbowl, not a fish bowl (and it’s just fan questions btw).

I hope someone asks about her skincare.

Of course she apologised to Khloe, Lauren from Texas. Dumb question, next.

“I wish I could say this is all a publicity stunt”, as in you can’t because of the NDA or you can’t because it’s not?

BREAKING NEWS: Khloe Clapped TF Back!

Of course the only reaction anyone really cares about is Khloe’s. Let me tell you something, it was a doozy.

Sorry Lauren from Texas, I was wrong.

Interestingly, people have been clapping back at Khloe in the wake of the interview which is a turn of a events I did not see coming.

We can’t say we disagree, as The Cut put it, Tristan has a severe case of drifting dick disease. This isn’t the first time he’s cheated on Khloe or any of his girlfriends to be honest.

Khloe isn’t having any of your sass though. She’s decided who is guilty. At this point, trying to change her mind is futile.

But that didn’t stop some people…

Undecided about who’s side to be on? Watch the full interview with Jordyn below:

Jordyn Woods Shares The Truth

Jordyn Woods comes to The Red Table for an emotional first interview about the public scandal involving NBA Star Tristan Thompson, the father of Khloe Kardashian's daughter. She addresses the rumors and accusations. What really happened that night? It’s an RTT exclusive.

Posted by Red Table Talk on Friday, 1 March 2019

 

Words by Emma Roffey

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