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The Ultimate Outrageous Christmas Wish List

You know, if money wasn't an issue 🤑😒

Those people who want their two front teeth for Christmas can have them – but sounds like a pretty crappy Christmas present, if you ask me. And if Mariah Carey is going to earn $665K each year for her track “All I want for Christmas is YOU” – you think she could have made her wish list just a tad more exciting. Thrown in a few extra #treatyoselfs for good measure.

Last week my mum asked me the usual question that happens around this time each year, “What do you want for Christmas?” And while the answer is always “clothes” or our new trend where we actually buy our own presents and then give it to the other person to “gift” us with – I thought, ‘why don’t we spice things up a bit year?’ Maybe throw a few curveballs in there?

And while Mum is probably never going to come through with the goods on the below list, a girl can only dream, right? So here goes, Mum – if you’re listening, maybe run your eyes over the below ultimate wish list…

All I want for Christmas is:

  1. A lap dance from Justin Bieber because #belieber…

  1. Jamie Oliver cooking dinner every night…

  1. A 24/7 chauffeur, or at least someone that always has the car filled up with petrol and checks for oil and water (anyone else haaaatttteeee having to do that?!)…

  1. A tropical island where you live with your four best girlfriends and the members of One Direction…

  1. A sink with two taps: one – never-ending champagne, the other – never-ending chocolate…

  1. A ticket into Taylor Swift’s #girlsquad…

  1. Someone that can do the perfect blowie for you every morning (blow DRY people, blow DRY. I know what you were thinking, you naughty little minx)…

  1. A super-sized luxury yacht fully staffed by buff tanned men…

  1. Avicii putting together a daily song list…

  1. @doyoutravel and @gypsealust to travel around with you and take all your Instagram shots…

  1. Channing Tatum as your shirtless live-in manny…

 

  1. A wardrobe styled by Rachel Zoe each morning…

 

If you could have ANYTHING for Christmas what would be on your list?

 

Words by Yelena Fairfax

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